What does self-love look like to you?
How do you know when you’re practicing it?
Do you think it is selfish to practice self-love?
When I write, I fancy myself with the notion that I’m writing about topics you and I would actually discuss over coffee or a cocktail. I picture a lively conversation; I see us agreeing and disagreeing; I see us laughing, as well as being contemplative.
Yet, there are times when I wonder if the conversations I’m initiating hit the mark – or if I’ve pushed the envelope a bit too far (like with last week’s post, “Head, Heart, Hormones“). Yes, I was slightly nervous about pressing “publish” on that one…
But then I get private emails, and I know all is well.
Based on the responses I received to last week’s post and to the week’s before about the false intimacy that ensues when people practice credit-card dating, it is even more evident that as individuals, couples, and a society, we have a lot of healing to do! Continue Reading…
There is a trend happening when it comes to the matter of talking about love and money.
You may have noticed it as well. Heck, it may even be a bandwagon you’ve jumped on.
It’s a trend, however, that I find disturbing. Because I believe it is causing couples to miss the whole point of the purpose and intent of talking about love and money.
Paul Carrick Brunson, one of the people I follow on Twitter, who works as a modern-day matchmaker and is the co-host of LoveTown on the OWN network, shared a link to, “Bad Credit: A Deal Breaker for Many Singles.” It reminded me of a related piece that appeared in the New York Times almost a year ago – “Perfect 10? Never Mind That. Ask Her for Her Credit Score.” There have been countless other articles like these, recently — articles that put a spotlight on a particular number: one’s credit score.
My problem isn’t with the question of asking about someone’s credit score. That is certainly important information to (eventually) know.
My problem is with the timing and the seemingly associated judgment without context. Continue Reading…
Why Most Money Advice Is Not
Helping You Make More Money
In today’s guest post, Leesa Renee Hall – of faithfullyrich.com – raises an important question: Is your money tempo sabotaging your financial growth and success? (Oh, how I love a music analogy!) Read on and then share your thoughts by leaving a comment.
I started playing the piano when I was 8-years old. My piano teacher was a petite woman with a thick Eastern European accent. And she was exceptionally harsh.
To help me understand how fast or slow to play a song, my piano teacher used a device called a metronome. It’s placed on top of the piano and when it’s turned on, a small silver arm swings from side to side making a tick-tock sound.
Whenever my piano teacher wanted me to stay on beat, she’d turn on the metronome and set it to the desired tempo. If I didn’t play on the same tempo as the tick-tocking metronome, my piano teacher would smack my knuckles with her hand and yell “Again!” So I had to start from the beginning of the song and try my best to stay on tempo.
My mother wasn’t happy with the piano teacher’s style and stopped the lessons and I continued to teach myself music. I taught myself to play with 2 hands instead of just one. I taught myself to play more complicated arrangements. Eventually, I taught myself to play the organ, an instrument that keeps both hands and both feet very busy. Today, not only do I compose songs, but I also play the organ for a church with 500 members.
In all my years playing and composing music, there’s a tempo I love. I try to compose songs in this tempo because it’s the one I’m comfortable with. At church, if the hymn has a faster tempo, I stop playing the foot pedals and just play the song with one hand. I’ll end up sabotaging the sound of the song just so I could stay in my “comfort tempo.”
This concept shows up in your money as well…
There’s an amount of money you’re comfortable earning. I call this your “money tempo.” Every 30-days, money comes into your hands and you’re comfortable with that amount. As long as that amount stays within your current money tempo, you’re happy.
But let’s just say you get more money. Hundreds, thousands or tens of thousands more. Maybe you received a tax refund. Or an inheritance. Perhaps you received some money for your birthday or a quarter-end bonus from work. Or maybe, you had 5 new clients in your business.
Instead of being happy with the increase, you’ll sabotage the new amount. Yup, you read that right. You’ll do whatever it takes to get rid of the excess. The money that flowed in came too fast and it violated your current money tempo – the amount you’re unconsciously composed to make month-after-month, year-after-year.
That’s why all the money advice in the world won’t change your financial situation. Someone can tell you to invest in this or put your money in that and as soon as you get an increase, you panic.
Your current money tempo represents your past money situation…
First, you need to reset your money tempo and prepare your mind for the new amount you’re designed to make. When you reset your money tempo, any excess amount that flows into your hands will be treated with the utmost respect. Instead of doing whatever you can to get rid of it, you’ll embrace the new amount as part of your new money tempo.
You’ll find that when you reset your money tempo, you’ll experience your own pay raise each month. In other words, if you’ve been earning the same amount of money each month, your new money tempo expects – and will attract – more. Because your mindset has drastically shifted, the money has to shift as well.
My takeaway from Leesa Renee is the reminder that to have more, you have to increase your capacity to handle more! What’s your takeaway?
About our guest blogger
Leesa Renee Hall, otherwise known as the Faithfully Rich Mentor, is an award-winning money coach. She is passionate about helping women of faith transform their relationship with money while putting God first. Leesa is a sought after international speaker and uses anecdotes and humour to motivate her audience into changing their mindset and creating new habits around their money. Leesa’s tips have appeared in media such as Profit Magazine, The Globe & Mail, Inc. Magazine to name a few and is the author of the forthcoming title 21 Prayers for Money Miracles. Visit www.faithfullyrich.com/innercircle to find out more about Leesa’s mentoring program.
p.s. did today’s guest post cause you to go, “hmmm?” If so, what came to mind? What you share in the comment section (link above) just may help someone else identify how they are self-sabotaging their financial growth and success AND help them unleash their financial power in the process!
p.p.s. I recently contributed to an online magazine – “Going Pro.” It’s the brainchild of my fabulous coach, Stephanie Pollock. Although the magazine is geared toward women entrepreneurs, the life-lessons all the awesome contributors share are universal and beyond business because, well, business is personal (just like money)! Click here to grab your free digital copy of Going Pro Magazine 3.0 and get a rare behind-the-scenes glimpse of how 14 successful women entrepreneurs make life + business work!
One of the reasons I conduct surveys is to get out of my own head and world. It gives me a chance to see the many facets of money through the eyes of my clients and potential clients, not as I or my professional peers do. It gives me a chance to validate some of my assumptions, as well as to have others challenged. It gives me a chance to discover what I’m missing that I don’t know I’m missing.
Weekend before last I randomly approached total strangers in my neighborhood and asked them to share what came to mind when they thought of love and money (the focus of these posts the last few weeks). This past weekend, on various social media feeds, I asked people to complete the following statement:
“The real reason money disrupts a perfectly good, or great, relationship is…”
If we’re not connected on Facebook, Twitter, or LinkedIn, or we are, but you missed this, how would you complete the above statement? Leave a comment in the comment section (see link above).
The Great Recession Took More than Money & Jobs From Us
As I reflect on the responses to each question/survey, I couldn’t help but think: “Man, the Great Recession zapped more than money and jobs.”
Five years later and the stock market is at an all time high, with the Dow crossing the 15,000 threshold for a brief moment; unemployment numbers look better; the personal debt-to-equity ratio is a wee-bit better (for most); and savings and investment accounts are on the rebound (for most).
But something is missing.
During a conversation with a member of my accountability group (yes, I have a coach; belong to a mastermind; and have an accountability group), I realized what the missing factor was. And, it hit me like a ton of bricks. As I was sharing my financial goals and tying those goals to the “what is my money for” factor, she asked very calmly – “Where’s the fun?”
OMG!! In listing how I would address my seemingly ever-increasing responsibilities and obligations, I didn’t include self-care in the form of fun. Pitiful, right?
Yet when reflecting upon the survey responses, the missing factor was noticeable in both what was said, as well as what wasn’t.
Are you, too, so mired down in responsibilities and obligations and working, working, working that you’re overlooking the fun + money factor, as well?
I’m not talking about the occasional dinner, or cinema or theater or concert outing. I’m talking about the practice of including fun, entertainment, and excitement on a regular, consistent basis – as a natural part of your personal self-care routine, not as an occasional treat to celebrate something special.
The Great Recession may have been needed to get our collective attention and to reign in some irresponsible behavior and choices (and regulations). And, it certainly did a great job of reminding you and me about the gift of discipline and discernment. But at the same time, I believe it also robbed a great many people of what it feels like to be carefree and to spend money in a way that brings joy, fulfillment and excitement. To quote Dr. Jeff Gardere*, “most people don’t understand the significance of money to our happiness.”
What does fun have to do with love + money?
If you’re wondering how does fun connect to this love + money series, here’s how: If the only time couples come together to talk about money is when there’s a crisis or a transaction to be decided upon, well, then, of course, money is going to feel like a dreaded to-do. With that backdrop, there’s no room for more expansive conversations about money that speak to possibilities, empowerment, dreams and fantasies.
It’s time to move the needle! Responsibilities and obligations will always be present. The key is to not allow the need to meet them to become the only thing that your money is feeding. It’s time to make certain the happy-factor and fun are also present as you manage the many facets of your money…and life.
p.s. if you missed last week’s webinar – Money, A Menage a Trois – I’m hosting another live session tomorrow (Wednesday, May 8th at 8pm). If you want information and tips that are practical, useful, results-oriented…and doable as you work to manage the various ways money can disrupt a perfectly good, if not great, relationship, you’re going to want to spend an hour with me. Click here to register.
p.p.s. Dr. Jeff Gardere is one of the many fantastic guest experts sharing his wisdom, insight and practical to-dos in the Master the Language of Love + Money program!
This past weekend I conducted a random, unscientific survey. I approached and asked total strangers to share with me the first thing that came to mind when they thought about love + money.
Thankfully, the people I approached were all quite open to my experiment…and surprisingly very candid!
I plan to share a few of the responses on this week’s free webinar – Money, A Menage a Trois. (If you haven’t registered and you want tips + strategies on how to make this love triangle work, and you’re also curious about the responses from my guerilla-style survey, click here.)
Do men + women approach money differently?
I wasn’t necessarily surprised by any of the survey responses, but I was caught off-guard by my reaction to a few of them. An answer I would have expected from a woman was given to me by a man; likewise, an answer I would have expected from a man was given to me by a woman.
This topic is my ballywag and I’ve worked with clients (straight/gay; married/unmarried) in all sorts of situations – but I had to come face-to-face with the reality that gender biases and stereotypes (even my own) are slow to fade away.
When you reflect on how you manage the whole love + money thing, what do you notice about your ideas of gender roles and responsibilities? Is there synergy between your ideas and your reality? Or, are things completely out of whack with what you expect/ed?
Do you find yourself subscribing to what real, scientific research confirms (even in the 21st century) about our perception on how men and women view money:
Do you believe the common perception that men are hierarchical, competitive, and when it comes to money think in terms of big-picture and are long-term oriented. Whereas, women are perceived as being cooperative and democratic and more focused on day-to-day finances?
(By the way, there’s data to suggest the total opposite, as well!)
Either way, how have these perceptions played out in your life and/or in your selection of your mate?
First you talk…then what?
I may not have been too surprised by the responses to my survey, but I was intrigued by one woman’s response. So much so, I wish we could have gone for a cup of coffee and chatted more. To my query, she said…
“We don’t talk about it and we keep everything separate….I don’t want to talk about it because then I’d feel like I have to do something.”
Wow! This correlation that she drew – that the act of talking implies taking action (and presumably to do something you don’t want) – totally fascinated me. Yet, as serendipity would have it, a client sent me an email with a link to this New York Times article within hours of my brief exchange with this stranger. And wouldn’t you know…the woman in the couple profiled revealed the exact same sentiment as this stranger. The stranger was not alone in her apprehension.
And is it just me, or do you, too, find it interesting that in this very small sampling, it is two women who express the desire to avoid talking about money?
So you know I have to ask…
What conversations, if any, are you are avoiding because you believe if you talk about it (whatever it may be), you’ll have to follow-up and take action? And, that the action you’ll need to take will be something unpleasant?
The Rona Barrett nature in me totally wanted to ask a follow-up question to this stranger, but I got the sense that in answering my question, she felt she had already revealed more than she intended. So, I respected the boundary.
If I had the chance, though, here’s what I would have asked:
What would it take for you to initiate the conversation anyway?
You see, you must be willing to ask (and be asked) those awkward, uncomfortable questions in order to “reconcile your different money philosophies,” choices and behaviors. Having a system helps. That is why I’m hosting a free webinar on May 2nd – Money a Menage a Trois.
I believe that at the end of the day being able to talk about money – to have the “right” conversations that include recognizing and acknowledging gender biases, stereotypes and differences is absolutely necessary if you want this whole love + money thing to work…well.
If you want to create the space for love + money to show up as best it possibly can in your life, you need to talk about this (inevitable) intersection and then give yourself permission to envision the best possible outcome!
I have a system that can help you achieve this result, and it will have a profound impact on your emotional and financial security. I’m sharing this 3-phase/5-step system during the upcoming webinar. Hope you’ll join me on May 2nd.
p.s. in case you’re wondering – yes, this webinar is for single, unattached folks, too
p.p.s. enrollment in my new program – Master the Language of Love + Money – is coming soon!
It begins with a handshake and a smile. And at a some point the question is asked: “Would you like to go out?” And the response: “Why yes, I would!”
Okay, okay, maybe it didn’t/doesn’t go down exactly like this, but you get my drift: You meet; there’s a spark; and a desire for more beyond that moment in time.
These elements (or some variation thereof) set everything in motion. And if things go well, the next thing you know – you’re in love. To paraphrase renowned biological anthropologist and love researcher Dr. Helen Fisher, you’ve invited in one of the most powerful sensations on earth — romantic love.
On a biological level, all kinds of things are going on with each of you chemically. There are probably cultural reasons for your attraction as well.
Something else is brewing, too: The intersection of love and money.
Even though, in the beginning, money is almost certainly the furthest thing from your mind. More likely, you have other questions (or fantasies) going through your head. But money…that ain’t at the top of the list – even if you’re the one picking up the tab.
Money – The Silent Third Party
And yet, there “it” is. Initially, you can’t see its impact on you; in fact, you barely sense its presence. However, “it” is the silent partner that shows up before the beginning begins and never, ever goes away!
On its own, love is complex. Factor in the dynamics of money and you have a – “wholly molly Batman!” – concatenation.
At the risk of stating the obvious, when you’re in a romantic relationship, love and money is an intersection you bump up against every. single. day. It shows up in ways “large” and “small;” it shows up in subtle and not so subtle ways.
The intersection may be inevitable, but the consequences of this crossroads tends to surprise most couples. Plus, many couples come to the table woefully unprepared for managing this (loaded) intersection that both has everything and absolutely nothing to do with money!
When you think about the very first time a money issue surfaced in your relationship, were you surprised – either by the issue unearthed or how you and your sweetie responded?
Usually when money rears its head, as it eventually will, you and your sweetie focus on the numbers. This is natural and understandable, but it’s just the wrong place to start.
Before you begin to deal with the numbers, you each have to first unpack the elements that make up your money story, respectively – you know things like:
- Beliefs about money
- Behavior with money
- Emotions surrounding money
- Thoughts about money
- Feelings and experiences
And the above are just the human elements…then you have the family dynamics and what you:
- Witnessed growing up
- What beliefs, habits, choices, you inherited (or consciously rejected)
Think we’re done? Um…not quite…you then have to layer on top of everything else social factors like:
- Peer pressure
- Shifting and evolving family dynamics
Yeah, these are some of the ways “money” complicates this thing called love!
That is why the intersection of love and money is SO emotional!
You and I get tricked into the thinking that the money part of the intersection is just about the money when in fact it is about all the “stuff” behind the money.
Today begins a series of posts for couples regarding love + money. And if you’re willing, I’d so appreciate if you would share this post with people who matter to you. Many, many thanks!
p.s. because I am so committed to money becoming the tool that strengthens relationships, I’m putting on a special free webinar in a few weeks. You can’t sign up yet, but stay tuned for details. If you’re in a relationship and have ever experienced a hiccup because money got in the way, you’re going to want to be there…trust me!
p.p.s click here to anonymously share your biggest challenge when it comes to love + money.
*A longer version of this post by Liz DiAlto was originally published on LizDiAlto.com. Closing comments are mine.*
First, here’s a short list of what NOT to do:
- Stress out
- Take it personally or assume there’s something wrong with you
- Blame any external factors
Truly, there’s only ONE THING you need to do: Listen To Your Body.
Because listening…really listening to your body is no easy task, I want to teach you HOW to do this. Could be one of THE MOST VALUABLE skills you ever learn as a woman (or a human, I know more men than usual have been stopping by lately-welcome, gentleman).
I’ve been speaking about this a lot lately and notice that when I open up about my beliefs about women and their bodies, the response can be summed up in an overwhelming “OH MY GOD, YES!!” So here it is.
Most of us spend a lot of time out of our bodies, living externally.
We’re concerned about what we eat, how we look, what we weigh, who we’re dating, where we’re going (this applies to several destinations from dinner Thursday night to our careers), and more.
We go through days at a time without actually checking IN with how we feel. And I’m not just talking about our emotions. I’m talking about deep in our guts, our organs, our cells. We rarely take enough deep breaths each day, slow down for five minutes or more and ask our bodies, our vessels, the only real place we have to live–”What up girl?! How’s it going in there?!”
Our bodies are much smarter than our minds, so as we behave this way, rushing around, focused on the external world, ignoring ourselves– they have to speak up like a little kid who isn’t getting enough attention. Our bodies do this in the form of illness, fatigue, stress, and more. All of these things are like big fucking stop signs begging us to SLOW DOWN and PAY ATTENTION to what’s going on inside.
I know this because I’ve lived the greater part of my 20s this way. It wasn’t until 2011 that I learned to slow down, shut up, and listen. Coincidentally, 2012 has been the most magical year of my life (more on that in the coming months…).
So how do you listen to your body? She can’t talk…or can she?
I was chatting with my mom last week about refinancing the house. She was going over all the details of this company she wasn’t sure she should do business with. I stopped her in the middle of the conversation and said, “I don’t need all the details, do you think you should do business with these people or not?” At first she thought I was being dismissive. So I explained myself…”Just sit there for a minute, think about this situation, do you have any sensations in your body? Do they feel good or bad? You know the answer. Should you do business with these people?” She said, “No.” BOOM! She knew it all along. And you know stuff, too.
All it took was one minute of sitting still with herself, tuning IN, and feeling the message her body had about the situation to get the answer. That’s listening to your body.
Ah…listening to your body. The scenario Liz shares of her mother’s experience using her body to inform her financial decision is a wonderful demonstration of the powerful connection that exists between your body and your money (and by default, your mind and your choices).
How often do you check in with your body before making a financial decision?
It may sound woo-woo, but don’t “sleep” on the power of your body to help you make wise financial decisions – from the seemingly small to the large and really consequential!
Inner-wisdom is definitely something you and I have. But sometimes your ability to access this powerful tool is blocked – for a variety of reasons. Yet, there are ways to create a clearing so that you can benefit from what your inner-you is telling you. Whether that is about diet and exercise or its money equivalent: earning and spending. That is why I am so, so excited about the webinar Liz and I are doing tonight – “A Busy Woman’s Guide to Getting Her Money Right & Her Body Tight.”
With this webinar, we are doing our part to help the money/body connection take its stand in the mainstream. Our jam session is designed to show you just how powerful of a messenger your body is when it comes to making decisions!
If you want to improve your fitness and your finances, and you want to get better at using your inner-wisdom to do so, I invite you to join us for tonight’s free webinar.
p.s. curious as to how inner-wisdom can help you plan down & pay down your debt? click here to check out this free training video.
Unless you are intentionally fasting, you eat everyday, right?
And, you probably use your money everyday – whether in the form of cash, debit/credit card, online banking/online transactions.
But how often do you think of the correlation between what you do with your money and how you treat your body?
No, I’m not writing to tell you about how money is a motivator to lose weight. Though there are studies to support that. I am writing about something much more exciting…and sustainable!
What if you could “eat more, workout less, and treat yourself often and still have the body you wanted”? Counter-intuitive, right? Now, imagine learning how to apply a similar framework to the habits, discipline, and thought patterns that lead to your success with money?
I am so excited to explore these themes in an upcoming live webinar-training featuring Liz DiAlto – fitness & lifestyle coach for busy woman!
Next Tuesday, October 16th at 8pm EST, we’re having a jam session that is all about showing busy women how to get their money right & their bodies tight (before the holidays). Sounds good, doesn’t it?
I mean isn’t this the time of the year where your waist-line tends to expand a tiny bit and your wallet tends to constrict a lotta bit? (I know the grammar is wrong, but work with me… -;o)
Well, instead of the usual happening this holiday season: weight up/wallet down. Let’s plant the seeds for a new scenario: weight down (or tight and steady)/wallet up.
If you’re game for exploring just how to make this happen; if you’re curious about the myriad ways in which your relationship with your money and your body intersect, then I invite you to join Liz and me for a virtual ladies night out.
The money/body connection is real…very, very real!
Liz and I have seen the correlation of money and weight unfold right before our eyes whilst working with our clients: I have worked with clients who have lost weight while getting their money in order; Liz has worked with clients who started out on a weight loss journey and discovered a better way of spending their money along the way. It’s all about awareness, and as soon as you heighten your awareness in one domain of your life, you can’t help but apply that to other spheres.
Click here to register for the live webinar-training, “A Busy Woman’s Guide to Getting Her Money Right & Her Body Tight (before the holidays) – featuring Liz DiAlto!
Next Tuesday is going to be awesome! You know my energy and commitment to sharing with you practical tips, suggestions and tools; Liz’ energy is just as high and she is just as committed to giving you concrete takeaways!! (Check out her YouTube channel.) Plus, we both have a counter-intuitive way of processing the world. A perfect combination given all the juicy stuff we’re going to discuss, e.g., habits, beliefs, issues of identify & self-esteem, to name a few, and how they are all rolled up in our view of money and our bodies.
I can hardly contain my excitement about our upcoming event. You can feel free to think of it as our early holiday gift to you -;o)
And, come prepared with questions. In fact, if you send them in advance, you may be the lucky person who gets randomly selected for the “hot seat” – a fancy way of saying we’ll dive deeper into your goals and questions.
Haven’t registered yet? Here’s the link:
A Busy Woman’s Guide to Getting Her Money Right & Her Body Tight (before the holidays)
p.s. is your debt making you feel weighed down? if so, click here to check out this free training video.
I asked. You Spoke. I heard.
And it seems, from the responses to my survey late June, we need to do a little more talking about DEBT.
So, let’s do just that.
I’ve put together a content-rich free training seminar event focused exclusively on this financial albatross – one I know you’re going to love.
Especially if being debt-free feels like a worthy but elusive, never-going-to-reached goal.
In this free seminar, I’ll show you how to avoid (or stop making) a mistake that is costing you time, money, and emotional freedom.
To sign up, and get instant access to the seminar, click here
If debt is your biggest financial challenge right now and it is preventing you from living the life of your dreams – sign up for this free training and pay close attention. It will change your mindset about debt so you can put the feelings of shame, overwhelm and stress in their place and focus your effort and energy on your strategy for dealing with the numbers. Facing the numbers without the “baggage” is so much more productive and effective!
Here’s the link once again:
Look forward to “seeing” you inside the free training seminar.
p.s. together, let’s take the ‘it sucks’ factor out of your debt experience and get you back to black so you can have more time, money & emotional freedom.
Earlier this week I met a friend for a mid-day Vietnamese iced-coffee and walk around the block. Admittedly, I was a little less perky than usual and a tad-bit cranky. Not because I was suffering from caffeine withdrawal, but because I am plum tired!
This summer has not been stereotypically slow for me; at the moment, I am working on several time-sensitive projects with back-to-back imminent deadlines and gearing up for a busy month of speaking engagements. Oh, and did I mention I’m also overhauling my business?!
The night before (or it might be more accurate to say the morning of) our afternoon stroll, I went to bed at 1:30am; the night before that was a more reasonable bedtime (11:30pm), but I was up at 5:45am. This erratic pattern has unfortunately become my new norm the last couple of months, which isn’t too attractive when I really need (and crave) 7-8 hours of sleep a night.
When I shared my whacky schedule and why I was fatigued, what my friend, who works in institutional sales, said stopped me mid sip: “…you need to accept that there is not enough time to get everything done…”
If the coffee didn’t jolt me “awake,” that statement certainly did! Even if I wasn’t operating on all cylinders, I was alert enough to know his words, which were a paraphrase of one of the leading sales training gurus, Brian Tracy, held pearls of wisdom beyond time management.
And I wondered…
What if we dared to get real and admit there are times when there simply isn’t enough money to meet our needs?
What do you do when you’ve done all the right things, but all your accounts are zero or, God forbid, less than zero? In some of the circles in which I travel, it is almost sacrilegious to explore this question and the sub-questions it raises.
The query defies the belief in infinite abundance…or does it?
I believe a larger disservice is done when we don’t give ourselves permission to ponder: “What Do You Do When There Isn’t Enough?” Because let’s face it, we all experience periods of time when there isn’t enough of something we need, whether it is time, money, faith, confidence, self-esteem, etc.
If we accept that there will be moments when our current demands exceed our current capacity, then that creates the necessary space required to focus on the key element of the question – “What do you do?”
Here’s what I suggest:
1) Admit the reality (even if just to yourself)…and then adjust
Seems so obvious, right? But when more is required of you than you have to give, something has to give. You have to say “no” to something you previously said “yes” to. Ironically, what may start off as a temporary adjustment may lead to permanent, more beneficial changes.
2) Ask for help
Need I say more? We could probably all use a refresher course in asking for help…from the right people!
3) Don’t lose hope or focus
It sounds so cliché, I know, but hold onto the proverb, “this too shall pass.” Really. “Not enough” does eventually morph into enough and sometimes even more than enough. Plus, you often gain the most insight when you lean into the gap, which is a counter-intuitive choice to the natural inclination to get mad and resist whatever is bringing about the – “What Do You Do When There Isn’t Enough? – question in the first place.
These are my suggestions, what are yours?
p.s. it is almost time to get out of the red and back to black? If you have debt, you’re going to want to join us. Click here to get on the list to learn more about a new program launching in September.