Awhile ago, I introduced you to my two friends, a couple, whom have been together more than 30-years. After this amount of time, some relationships can begin to look tired and weary, absent of demonstrative love, smiles, fun and joy.
Not my friends – you can tell they are still each other’s best friend; that they truly enjoy each other’s company; and that they also probably have an active and steamy sex life.
If you spend any time with them, it becomes pretty evident that they are in sync, committed to each other, and willing to be vulnerable. And as you know, achieving this trifecta is no easy feat.
And let’s face it, few things tap into your degree of vulnerability the way love, money, and love + money do!
Few things cast a spotlight on what is and what isn’t working in your relationship (including the relationship you have with yourself) the way the intersection of love + money does.
Valentine’s Day, whether you’re coupled up with your boo or celebrating being single, is about love. So here are four (4) ways to embrace the sentiment of the day, and apply it to how you manage the intersection of love + money…today and beyond:
- Stop Judging; Start Listening. Epictetus said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” But when it comes to love + money, how much time do you spend really observing and listening rather than talking and judging? It’s far easier to do the latter, but the former will both provide you with greater insight that can foster a deeper awareness as well as a deeper connection.
- Be Flexible. Everything that has breath needs to oxygen to grow…and that includes your relationship. But you cut off that oxygen when you insist on everything being done your way. While there’s a lot of room for self-care in any healthy relationship, there’s isn’t much room for selfishness.
- Follow, Sometimes. Relationships are like a graceful, sensuous dance, and sometimes that means you need to let the other person lead.
- Have a Short Memory. Unfortunately, and despite the best of intentions, there will simply be times when your beloved will unwittingly do or say something that hurts your feelings and vice versa. If you can’t let go, you can’t grow. This is not to suggest you fake “forgiving;” rather, once you’ve reached the point of forgiveness don’t constantly remind your sweetie of what they’ve done wrong.
Valentine’s Day could easily be called, “a day of vulnerability” because it brings up all sorts of emotions and expectations – regardless of your relationship status. What Valentine’s Day sparks on one day of your life, money arouses every. single. day of your life!
Loving yourself, loving another, and managing money are truly humbling experiences. They remind you and me that we don’t always have the answers; that there is always something to be discovered about ourselves and another person; and that success with love + money is best achieved with intentional, proactive action.
However you are spending this day, I hope it is full of love – beginning with self love and self-care.
p.s. If you haven’t read my book, “Financial Intimacy” yet, why not grab a copy AND get a free gift? Click here for instructions.
I know, I know…not only am I having a corny moment, but I am really dating myself! But c’mon, it’s Valentine’s Day and you gotta love this vintage photo of Telly Savalas aka “Kojak” and his signature quote – “Who Loves Ya, Baby?”
Today is the commercially designated day, which I admittedly buy into hook, line and sinker, for expressing love to and for others and letting them do the same to and for you. However, I hope that you also let this day be one where you focus on another important love: self-love.
Self-Love on Valentine’s Day?
For some, it may seem sacrosanct to offer such a suggestion. But the continuous act of self-love is so, so powerful!
Rolling your eyes (perhaps), you say, “yeah, yeah, blah, blah…you’re not telling me anything new, Jacquette.” Ah…but do you practice self-love on a daily basis when making choices and decisions, both large or small? Betcha I gotcha there!
The habit of asking…
What does self-love look like? What does it feel like?
…is one I learned from my very first business coach, Laura Berman Fortgang. She pointed out the correlation between the quality of my choices + decisions, business results, and the degree of self-love I express in any given moment.
Yes, it is a continuous work in progress. But imagine if you thought for just a split-second before taking any action – whether in the realm of romantic love, money, work or other personal relationships: “Am I choosing or deciding out of love vs. fear, guilt, shame (or anything other than love and self-compassion)?”
So yes, on this day of all days, I’m suggesting you redirect some of your attention to YOU. If you’re not in the habit of doing this, today is a great time to pause (like right now) and think about what acts (or thoughts) of kindness you can extend toward yourself?
In fact, leave a comment to share what you to do express self-love. What you share might just be the inspiration someone else needs today. But if you prefer to keep it private and just between us, then send me an email.
It’s Valentine’s Day! I hope you are having a great, love-filled day whether you’re single, coupled, or in a “complicated” situation (to borrow the parlance of Facebook).
Happy Love Day, today and everyday!
p.s. I love that you’re part of my community…thank you for being here.
p.p.s. barring no technical difficulties next week, I should be ready to announce an act of self-love of my own – something that has been a year in the making…can’t wait!