The Relationship between Debt and Shame Part II: Tools That Break the Bond

The Relationship between Debt and Shame Part II: Tools That Break the Bond

In December, I asked my good friend, John Dulworth, if he’d share his personal story of how he’s handling the gremlins of debt. It was pretty darn brave of him to say, “Yes.” It’s one thing to share his story with me, and quite another to really put it out there for a few thousand! But in January, he graciously did just that – revealing the many dimensions of debt that you can certainly relate to if you have (or have ever had) debt. Especially if it is/was accompanied by feelings of shame and overwhelm. Today, I’m excited to present John’s follow-up — this time he talks about what I like to describe as the tools that will break the bond between debt and shame. Read on if you have debt and if you don’t then share the link to this post with someone you know who does… In John’s Words In this my second part of my two-part series on the connection between debt and shame, I want to dive into a few specific tools you can use that will help to break their bond. Last time, I used my personal story as a way to illustrate how when you and I don’t consistently address the limiting beliefs we hold about money, we doom ourselves to acting in accordance with those beliefs. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, effectively opening the door for shame to come in and shape the future actions you and I take. In my case, as in so many, it was my actions that created the debt – choices that were based on a set...
The Relationship between Debt and Shame Part I: Becoming Your Own Super Hero

The Relationship between Debt and Shame Part I: Becoming Your Own Super Hero

In today’s guest post, John Dulworth, graciously shares how he’s handling the beast called debt – revealing what both prompted his inaction and what he discovered was necessary for targeted, empowered action. Read his story with an eye for your own (even if you don’t have debt). Enjoy! _______________________________________________________ When Jacquette asked me to write a piece on the relationship between debt and shame my answer was an enthusiastic “YES!” You see, I am fascinated by the relationship between things and in my life shame and debt, but more specifically the behaviors that lead to debt, have a symbiotic kind of relationship. One depends on the other for its very existence. But before I get to that, I want to talk about the other reason I said yes to Jacquette’s request. It’s a bit of my story and in it I invite you to listen for your own story. Shame: The big, bad wolf You see, I’m in the wake of having just processed four years of tax returns. All at once. And let me tell you, the news I received from the IRS and the State of New York was not an easy pill to swallow – not for this small business owner. Seemingly overnight I went from a man with manageable debt to a man with substantial debt. Even as I write that, I can feel the tinge of shame and blame stirring inside of me. The narrative (and this is the tame version) goes something like this: “How could you have let it get this far?” “How could you have been so irresponsible?” “How could you...