Money Cannot Give You Worth—But Worthiness Shapes What You Do With It
As the O’Jays sang in their hit song, For the Love of Money: “...some people got to have it, yeah…some people really need it, huh…”
I think that lyric is a great illustration of what makes money universal. And what I find so fascinating about money is that the lyric rings true regardless of the currency you’re using, or where you are on the income and wealth spectrums. Not because our financial realities are the same, but because having more money doesn’t put someone outside the conversation about deservingness.
Money.
Whether we’re thinking about survival, growth, or a little more room to breathe, money enters the picture.
But we don’t just have ideas about what money can do. We have ideas about what having it — or not having it — says about us.
Last week, I explored what we allow ourselves to receive in business. This week, I’m turning to money — and the stories we carry about who deserves to have it, keep it, enjoy it, or want more of it.
Sometimes having money is treated as evidence of greed. Other times, it’s treated as proof of discipline, intelligence, or hard work. Not having it gets its own set of judgments.
Different verdicts. Same premise: that our financial circumstances are a barometer of our character.
We’re taught, implicitly and explicitly, that a certain income, savings balance, spending pattern, or investment portfolio tells us whether someone is:
disciplined or irresponsible
secure or failing
generous or selfish
“good with money” or not
I’m so grateful that every day, in some capacity, I get to challenge a one-dimensional view of money — via my coaching, writing, and speaking — and remind you of a truth I wholeheartedly embrace, which is that:
Your financial numbers provide information about your resources and circumstances. But they are not a measure of your human value.
Yet those numbers do, indeed, tell a story. A multi-layered one that reflects your behavior, culture, emotions, trauma, access, family dynamics, profession, education, cognitive load, material needs, etc.
Embedded in that story may also be beliefs about deservingness: what we’ve learned we’re allowed to have, keep, enjoy, or ask for — and what we think we must do to earn that permission.
Those beliefs don’t always announce themselves. Sometimes they sound like:
“I should not want more.”
“Why can’t I have more?”
“Other people need it more than I do.”
“My money is for me and mine. Other people should pull themselves up.”
“If I become wealthy, I’ll become selfish.”
“If I make more, people will expect more of me.”
“I need to prove I deserve it before I can enjoy it.”
“If I let myself have ease in my life, I’ll become lazy.”
The question isn’t simply whether we recognize one of those statements. It’s what happens next — in how we use our money and how we judge ourselves or others.
Do we postpone enjoying money until we’ve reached another milestone?
Give more than we can comfortably afford because keeping it feels selfish?
Spend to prove we’ve “made it”?
Avoid looking at the numbers because we’re afraid of what we’ll make them mean about us?
None of those choices, on its own, tells us someone has a worthiness issue. The question is whether the choice reflects their resources and values — or a rule about what they believe they’re allowed to have.
Every money story is a concatenation of the numbers and the emotions. But far too often, a conversation about financial accountability becomes a judgment of someone’s character.
However, asking, “What’s true about the numbers, the patterns, and the consequences?” is very different from, “What does this say about you as a person?”
One is an accountability question. The other is a moral judgment. One can lead to clearer choices. The other can leave us feeling ashamed, keeping secrets, becoming paralyzed, or returning to patterns we’re trying to change.
The problem isn’t paying close attention to the numbers. It’s asking them to answer a question they cannot answer: “What am I worth as a person?”
And once that question enters the room, we’re no longer looking only at what we have, what we owe, or what we need. We’re also deciding what those numbers give us permission to feel, want, or enjoy.
That’s why I keep coming back to these two truths:
The numbers matter — they are to be respected.
Your humanity is never up for debate.
We can look honestly at a decision, acknowledge its consequences, and choose differently without making our worth conditional on getting it right.
Holding both truths won’t make every financial decision easy. But it gives you and me a different place to begin:
What would change if you treated money as a resource to steward — not a test you must pass to earn the right to have what you want?
P.S. If you read this and wondered, “Okay, but what’s true about my numbers without the shame attached?”, I’d love to know what answer surfaced first. Send me a DM on Instagram and tell me. A word or a sentence is plenty.
And if it’s relevant, that’s the work we do in Successful, Profitable…and Not Broke. Clear eyes. No verdict.
About Jacquette
I love to ask questions and spark aha moments. I love to talk about why success with money is about more than just the numbers, and how the cultural impact on the intersection of money, business, and life matters–A LOT! And, I really hope I help people feel seen, heard, and not judged—especially since money is emotional and personal.
