Once the Truth is Out (and to Honor it), You Have to Rewrite the Story
Rejection hurts.
It hurts when you feel you were deceived. It hurts just as badly when your actions — unintentionally or not — hurt someone you care about. And interestingly, both parties can end up feeling misunderstood and mischaracterized by the other.
What I’ve just described may hit close to home. If so, I’m sorry if I’ve conjured up a memory you’d rather not recall. Or, caused a current wound to feel even more raw.
While what I’ve just described is an experience we can all relate to, I’m actually talking about “Debbie” and “Judith,” the leads of the Amazon Prime series, “Ride or Die,” and the fracture that erupted within their decades-long friendship.
Debbie felt betrayed about what she didn’t know about Judith being an assassin; Judith felt betrayed by Debbie’s rejection of her overtures to apologize and reconcile because of the information she withheld.
Sure, the details may be different, but if you and I are honest, we’ve been on both sides of this equation.
Sometimes, you were unable to repair those connections.
Other times, you were able to repair those connections — but not without honesty, effort, and time. Work that entailed being direct about the harm experienced, and being willing to repair and renegotiate the parameters and dynamics of the relationship.
By the end of the last episode of season one, Debbie and Judith do just this. They rewrote the story of their friendship. Of course in a compressed time that certainly doesn’t mimic real-life.
But, it reminds you and me of what’s possible when, once the truth is out, you’re willing to renegotiate the dynamics of a friendship (or any type of relationship, really). Not with the goal of going back to how things were, but with the intent of giving the relationship a fresh start.
And if you’re lucky, the unintended consequences of whatever prompted the fracture is that it almost always brings new information to light, which can draw you closer together — fostering a depth you didn’t even know was missing.
Funny enough, your relationship with money works in a similar way.
Granted, money doesn’t get mad at you. But you sure can get mad at money when it doesn’t do for you what you want, how you want, or as quickly as you want.
And when you feel failed by your money, it can feel like rejection. Betrayal, even, at times. Am I right?!
Maybe money didn’t grow the way you were promised it would.Maybe you followed all the “rules” — budgeted, saved, invested — and still don’t feel secure.
Maybe you’re the one who did the betraying: avoided the statements, ignored the debt, spent past what you knew was wise, relied too heavily on referrals instead of proactively seeking new clients, and now you feel the weight of having let yourself down.
Either way, something got fractured. And here’s the thing about fractures — you don’t get to just forget they happened. You have to decide what to do with them.
This is where Debbie and Judith’s story is actually instructive, beyond entertainment value. They didn’t repair their friendship by pretending the betrayal never happened, and they didn’t repair it by staying stuck in it either. They did the work: naming what actually happened, being honest about the harm, and renegotiating what the friendship would be going forward — not resurrecting what it used to be.
Your relationship with money deserves the same treatment.
Not “I’ll just try harder and not think about it.” Not “I’ll pretend last year’s mess didn’t happen and start fresh like it’s nothing.” Real repair — the kind Debbie and Judith modeled — starts with an honest accounting of what actually happened, and why, and then a deliberate renegotiation of how you want the relationship to work from here.
Which brings me back to the question I opened this series with, four weeks ago: how well do we know the people we love?
I’d add one more: how well do you know your relationship with money?
Because that’s what this whole series — inspired by eight episodes of pure escapacist joy — has really been about. Not just what we assume about others, but what we’ve never bothered to examine about ourselves. The friend who “has it together” but has never been asked what she wants. The person we underestimate, and what that cost us — and them. And now, finally, what happens once the truth is out and you’re willing to do something about it.
You don’t get a fresh start with money by ignoring the fracture. You get it by rewriting the story — honestly, deliberately, on purpose.
That’s the work. And like I always say: financial success is an inside job.
If you’re ready to actually do that work — not just read about it, but sit down and rewrite your own money story — that’s exactly what I help people do. [Book a discovery call]
About Jacquette
I love to ask questions and spark aha moments. I love to talk about why success with money is about more than just the numbers, and how the cultural impact on the intersection of money, business, and life matters–A LOT! And, I really hope I help people feel seen, heard, and not judged—especially since money is emotional and personal.
