This I believe to be true: to write is to observe. So, the irony is never lost on me when I notice the theme I’m writing about showing up for me. It’s like having an out-of-body experience, yet being fully aware of what’s happening at the very same time.
In last week’s piece, I talked about the habits and patterns of behavior we carry, and whether we continue them with intention or simply because they’re familiar. And wouldn’t you know it: four days after hitting publish on that piece, I was “given” an opportunity to let go of a long-held habit of mine.
It happened in the most unexpected of ways, too. :) Ever since, I’ve been describing Thursday as “delightfully surprising”!
Before I share what happened and what I changed, let’s talk about the different ways in which we pay a “price.” Because so often we only view price through the lens of dollars and cents. But we “pay” in other ways, too. We pay through:
The time spent making a decision, a choice, doing a task.
The attention, focus, and energy given to a matter or a person.
The opportunities we forgo because of what we’ve already chosen.
The flexibility we give up to maintain a commitment.
The effort required to keep something going.
Not everything that costs us time, energy, or flexibility is something we need to release. The question is whether we still want to make that exchange.
And this is precisely why it’s important to not only get curious about what you are carrying, but to take it a step further and ask:
Are you comfortable with the price you’re paying?
That expense you keep because canceling it feels like admitting you aren’t using — or enjoying — what you bought.
That offer you won’t sunset because of everything you’ve already invested in creating it.
That commitment you continue to maintain because you don’t want to disappoint someone, even though it no longer fits what you can — or want — to give.
Sometimes, the price is easy to name. Other times, we don’t recognize it until we’re given a chance to choose differently.
In the hustle and bustle of daily living and running a business, it’s easy to lose sight of the price you pay for continuously saying “yes” when doing so no longer serves you.
And the question isn’t only, “Can I afford to let this go?” It’s also, “What am I willing to keep paying to hold on?”
I had a chance to answer these questions — twice. On the same day.
My day started with breakfast with a former client. I was prepared to pay, but she insisted on treating me, reminding me that I’d picked up the bill the last time. Later, I had lunch with a client. When the bill arrived, I reached for the check — and she, too, insisted on paying.
Now, this may not seem like a big deal to you. But my familiar move was to reach for the check. The different choice was to let each of them treat me — and to receive without insisting that I be the one giving.
Unbeknownst to either of them, receiving generosity from others is something I’m working on. I’m learning to make room for people to do for me what I tend to do for others. In the process, I’m recognizing that when I don’t, I’m not only cutting myself off from their gift, I’m interrupting the flow of give-and-take.
The price of holding on, in this case, would have been more than the cost of two meals. It would have been missing the chance to experience being cared for in a way I’m accustomed to caring for others.
To me, generosity is a blessing. Had I insisted on paying, I would have missed the opportunity to receive theirs — and to notice a familiar habit and make a different choice in real time. That’s powerful!
Today, I have two invitations for you.
First, notice a familiar habit — and the moment when you have an opportunity to choose differently in your life, in your business, or with your money.
If you’re game, I hope you’ll share what you discover.
Second, expand how you define the price you’re paying. Alongside the dollars and cents, what else is holding on asking of you?
P.S. Sometimes it takes someone else to help us notice what we’re too close to see, because some patterns are too familiar to spot alone. That’s the work I do with clients. If you’d like to explore working together, send me a DM on Instagram and we’ll get a discovery call on the calendar.
About Jacquette
I love to ask questions and spark aha moments. I love to talk about why success with money is about more than just the numbers, and how the cultural impact on the intersection of money, business, and life matters–A LOT! And, I really hope I help people feel seen, heard, and not judged—especially since money is emotional and personal.
