You can tell a lot about what we're carrying through the habits we practice consistently.
Last week, I caught up with a friend who I rarely see, despite us living 15 minutes from each other. Yet, when we do get together, it’s like no time has passed.
We catch up on life and geek out on the parallels between our work. She works on the policy side of money, running a research organization that helps municipalities design their financial empowerment services. If you’re imagining us having animated conversations, yes, we do! And I cannot wait until their latest study is publicly available.
She’s also been on my email list for decades, something I really appreciate. As we were eating our guacamole and tacos, she commented on a shift she’s noticed in my content: the increased focus on business owners and pricing.
How did this evolution unfold? Several years ago, I did an audit of my coaching clients. At the time, 90% of them were entrepreneurs and business owners. I wanted to interrupt a myth I saw them buying into because it was the same one I had bought into as well: the idea that you give your business everything — including your financial future.
I also got even more honest with myself about what I find interesting and want to talk about — and it ain’t just about the numbers.
My book, “Financial Intimacy: How to Create a Healthy Relationship with Your Money and Your Mate,” was published in 2009. During media interviews, I wasn’t always as adept as I would have liked at getting across the idea central to the book: a healthy relationship with your money and your mate also requires a healthy relationship with yourself — and a willingness to go beyond the numbers.
So, going beyond the numbers isn’t new to my work. But the scope of the conversation has expanded. It’s not that talking about personal money had become wrong or unimportant. It’s that I wanted to make room for examining how our businesses, our pricing decisions, and systemic policies shape that personal relationship.
For me, that meant letting go of an earlier definition of what my content needed to focus on — not the foundation of my work, but the boundaries I’d placed around it and the expectations I’d absorbed from others and the industry.
Getting more clients, earning, saving, and investing more, and getting out of debt are all worthy goals (heck, they’re goals I even have). But if we’re not getting to the “more,” there’s likely a reason beyond simply personal responsibility.
That said, let’s stay with personal responsibility for a moment. Because it’s often framed as what you and I need to do. Often with the “doing” being a reflection of our consistent habits or patterns of behavior.
But what if what we really need to examine is this: what we need to stop doing?
Just because a habit or pattern of behavior once served you doesn’t mean you must remain committed to it indefinitely.
That money rule you adopted during a financially difficult period — is it still helping you now that your circumstances have changed and you’re on more stable ground, maybe even thriving?
That offer you’re selling — is it still aligned with where you want to take your business, or are you keeping it mainly because people expect it?
That tendency to be the dependable, accommodating one — is it still a choice you want to make in the same way, given your capacity today?
Sometimes, the clue is the distance between why you started doing something and why you’re still doing it. You once chose it because it met a need. Now, you may be continuing because it’s familiar, expected, or simply what you’ve always done.
One of the things I find beautiful about fall is not just the changing color of the leaves, but what their falling brings to mind: the possibility of releasing something without dismissing the role it once played.
To me, that’s an invitation to lean into the power of releasing and to ask:
What are we holding on to?
What does it cost to keep holding it?
And what might we choose instead?
This month, I’m inviting you to explore what you’re still carrying: What are you continuing out of familiarity and loyalty to a version of yourself whose circumstances or vision have changed?
Today’s invitation: you can appreciate what got you to this moment and still give yourself permission to “shed” it because it has served its purpose.
Next week, I’ll talk about the price of holding on.
P.S. What’s one thing you’ve been carrying longer than it’s been serving you? Send me a DM on Instagram and tell me.
About Jacquette
I love to ask questions and spark aha moments. I love to talk about why success with money is about more than just the numbers, and how the cultural impact on the intersection of money, business, and life matters–A LOT! And, I really hope I help people feel seen, heard, and not judged—especially since money is emotional and personal.
