Here's an Uncomfortable Idea: Want More Success? Be Less Independent
Did the title of today’s piece rankle your feathers a bit?
Are you silently saying, “What the heck? Why is she suggesting I be less independent?”
If yes, I get it. And, hear me out.
I’m a fiercely independent person.
If “I should be able to figure this out on my own” had a poster child, it would be me.
At times, my independence drove my mother crazy — and I’m pretty sure it didn’t sit too well with a few former boyfriends, either. :)
I attribute my independence to being an only child. As a result, I was (and still am) comfortable and used to being alone and entertaining myself.
I also had a mother who would often say, “figure it out,” whenever I was stuck. Sometimes that meant going to the dictionary or encyclopedia; other times, it meant to keep pushing — because I was frustrated something didn’t immediately work and I wanted to give up.
And sometimes I would “figure it out” on my own. Other times, she’d step in to help me. (And as only a mother likely knows, it seemed she always knew when to do the latter.)
I share this backdrop because if you know me well or have worked with me, then you know a saying of my mother’s about me is true: “She’s persistent and tenacious — she’s like a dog with a bone.”
And, this is correct: I am.
Have I achieved every goal of mine, or successfully solved every problem I’ve bumped up against? No. But damn if I didn’t try.
For the longest, I wore my independent “I can figure this out on my own” as a badge of honor.
However, with age (and hopefully wisdom), I’ve gotten better at discerning the difference between independence and inter-dependence.
Turns out, individualism and the idea of “going it alone” isn’t the great recipe for success as so many of us were told it is.
In fact, the older I get — and the more I observe my clients’ journeys — the clearer it becomes that independence without connection can quietly cap what’s possible.
Did You Buy Into the Myth, Too?
If you grew up in Western culture — and especially in the United States — chances are, independence was presented not just as a virtue, but as the marker of maturity and success.
Did you hear phrases like:
“Stand on your own two feet.”
“Don’t depend on anyone.”
“Pull yourself up by your bootstraps.”
I know I did.
And even if they were intended to be helpful, to be motivating, these phrases are problematic on so many levels. Starting with this: they get lodged so deeply in our psyche that asking for help or leaning on others can feel like failure — even when, logically, we know that’s not true.
Whether it’s by nature or nurture, from an early age, we learn to associate independence with strength, capability, and self-respect. And for many of us, that message was layered with cultural, familial, or gender expectation, too:
“To prove yourself.”
“To not burden others.”
“To be seen as competent — or even worthy.”
And yet, this “go-it-alone” mindset quietly undermines the very success it glorifies. Because here’s the paradox:
The more successful you become, the more inter-dependent you actually need to be.
I don’t care how smart and strategic you are, no one scales a business, grows their wealth, or sustains meaningful success in isolation. Every milestone you reach — personally or professionally — introduces new complexities that require collaboration, trusted counsel, or a fresh perspective.
The myth of independence tells us that asking for help signals weakness. But in practice, it’s a mark of wisdom — an acknowledgment that perspective and partnership expand what’s possible.
Inter-dependence Fuels the Harvest
When I think about independence and inter-dependence, I’m reminded of something that became clearer as I’ve been writing about harvests these last few weeks: nothing thrives in isolation.
Even in nature, a harvest is never the result of one element alone. The soil depends on the sun. The seed depends on the rain. The farmer depends on the rhythm of the seasons and on the hands that help with planting and gathering.
Everything — and everyone — plays a part in bringing the fruits of labor to life.
Our success works the same way.
The relationships that sustain you — your team, your clients, your mentors, your family and friends — are the sunlight, rain, and soil of your professional and financial growth. Inter-dependence is the ecosystem that allows your harvest to flourish.
When we cling too tightly to doing everything ourselves, we shrink that ecosystem. We cut off potential nutrients — new ideas, support, shared resources, and collaboration — that help us grow beyond what we can manage alone.
It’s not that independence has no place; it’s just that independence without inter-dependence becomes barren ground.
So, what if we treated collaboration, delegation, and shared wisdom as part of our natural growth cycle — as essential as tending the soil?
What if, instead of viewing help as weakness, we saw it as sunlight — nourishment that allows what’s already planted to thrive?
Because none of us harvests alone — and the strongest roots are often the ones intertwined with others. The most abundant harvests — in business, money, or life — always come from that web of interconnection that keeps us resilient when conditions change.
Ways to be Less Independent
As you think about your own experience and definition of independence — and how it shows up in your work, money, and relationships — I invite you to pause and reflect:
Where might your independence be quietly limiting your growth? (I think about how long it took me to delegate tasks to Melissa on my team.)
Who or what could be part of your ecosystem if you allowed more connection and collaboration?
What would become easier, lighter, or more joyful if you stopped “going it alone”?
And what kind of harvest might that make possible in terms of what comes next?
Because success isn’t just about how much you can handle on your own — it’s about how well you weave together the relationships, systems, and support that sustain you as you grow.
When you build from that place of inter-dependence, your efforts multiply. Your stress lightens. And your success feels less like a grind and more like a rhythm.
If this resonates, and you’re ready to explore how to expand your ecosystem of support — in your business, finances, or life — that’s exactly what we can unpack together in a 90-minute Clarity Session.
Together, we’ll look at what’s working, what’s missing, and how to create the kind of inter-dependence that helps your next harvest thrive.
About Jacquette
I love to ask questions and spark aha moments. I love to talk about why success with money is about more than just the numbers, and how the cultural impact on the intersection of money, business, and life matters–A LOT! And, I really hope I help people feel seen, heard, and not judged—especially since money is emotional and personal.
