Here’s Why What’s Familiar Feels Better Than the Actual Process of Change
Earlier this week, I interviewed trauma-informed coach, Janis Vogel, for my podcast “More Than Money.”
We had a far-ranging conversation about leadership, money, and the role of self-love in the equation.
It was powerful on so many levels (and I can’t wait for you to check it out when it goes live).
We talked about the difference between choosing what’s better — and choosing what feels familiar.
I commented how this is akin to when you, me, and everyone say we want something to change, but don’t really like the discomfort that comes with that change.
But here’s the thing about change: it wouldn’t be necessary if we were completely satisfied with what is.
We want more.
We want something better.
We want something different.
And in some instances, we want less!
That’s why we create goals — whether at the beginning of the year or throughout the year.
However, the gap between the reality of the present (what is) and the desired future (what we want), gives us some work to do — work that is often uncomfortable.
And this is where things get interesting — especially when money is involved.
Because when we’re faced with financial decisions we don’t always choose what’s better.
We often choose what’s familiar.
Familiar pricing.
Familiar spending habits.
Familiar ways of earning, even when they no longer serve us.
Not because they’re optimal — but because they feel safer. More comfortable.
Yet We’re Always In The Gap.
I am steeped in that gap — daily.
In my own life and business.
And as I sit alongside my clients, helping them navigate the multitude of choices, tradeoffs, and disappointments along the way.
Helping them to see what’s possible, so they can keep their eye on the prize when things get challenging.
Yet, there are moments when we all wonder,
“Why is change still so hard… even when we know it’s what we asked for?”
The Neuroscience Of Change
Turns out there’s a reason for this.
Your brain is wired to prefer what’s familiar — not necessarily what’s better.
Familiar feels predictable.
Familiar feels efficient.
Familiar feels… safe.
Even when what’s familiar is frustrating, limiting, or no longer aligned with what you want.
Because from your brain’s perspective, familiar means:
“I know what this is.”
“I know how this plays out.”
“I know how to handle this — I’ve been here before.”
Better, on the other hand?
Better is uncertain.
Better requires new decisions.
Better asks more of you.
Better requires faith.
And uncertainty — even when it holds the possibility of something better — can feel like a threat.
And this shows up in your financial life more often than you might realize.
You keep pricing your services the same way — even when you know it’s time to change.
You stick with familiar spending and investing patterns — even when they no longer align with your priorities or values.
You continue earning in ways that feel comfortable – even if they’re no longer sustainable.
Not because you don’t know better.
But because familiar feels safer than the actual process of change.
Making Peace With The Gap
So what do you do with this?
You don’t force yourself to leap from familiar to completely different overnight.
Instead…
You shift your relationship to the gap by looking at it as an invitation.
You begin to expand your tolerance for discomfort.
Gently. Intentionally. Incrementally.
By noticing the moment when something feels unfamiliar — and resisting the urge to immediately retreat to what’s comfortable.
By pausing before defaulting to the same decision.
By asking yourself:
“Is this what’s familiar… or what’s actually better?”
Because change doesn’t usually require a dramatic overhaul.
It often begins with a small interruption in a well-worn pattern.
A different choice.
A different response.
A different level of awareness.
And this is what it means to live more peacefully — and with greater ease — in the gap.
To hold both:
What feels familiar
and
What could be better
— without rushing to escape the discomfort in between.
The gap is real.
It’s conceptual — and where the action takes place.
And if you find yourself sitting in that space — navigating the tension between what feels familiar and what you know could be better — you don’t have to do it alone.
If you’d like a partner in that process, let’s talk and explore how I can support you.
Send me a DM on Instagram and tell me a little bit about your gap — I’ll send you a link to my calendar.
About Jacquette
I love to ask questions and spark aha moments. I love to talk about why success with money is about more than just the numbers, and how the cultural impact on the intersection of money, business, and life matters–A LOT! And, I really hope I help people feel seen, heard, and not judged—especially since money is emotional and personal.
