The Power of "No" in Creating the Success You Want
As we kick-start the last week of the month, how would you say January is going? Does it feel like a preview of the year ahead you want — or are you already sensing that a reset is needed?
Mine is off to a strong and encouraging start — along with an important reminder about a powerful, two-letter word: no.
How good are you at saying no?
It’s a muscle I’ve been intentionally strengthening for some time, and I’m genuinely pleased with my progress. One thing that continues to be reinforced is this: no isn’t about limitation as much as it is about integrity.
In other words, am I keeping the “main thing the main thing” — by practicing discernment, honoring my boundaries, and centering my actual capacity?
Unpacking the Cost of “Yes”
One of the reasons saying “no” can feel so uncomfortable is that we tend to focus only on what we might lose in that moment — comfort, approval, ease, or harmony.
What we don’t always pause to consider is the ongoing cost of saying “yes,” because every yes carries a cost — not just financially, but emotionally and energetically, too.
Sometimes the cost shows up as:
fewer options later,
less flexibility,
chronic overwhelm, or
progress that feels slower than it needs to be.
And more often than not, you and I only become aware of the cost after the fact.
So as you look ahead, maybe a filtering question to adopt isn’t, “Is this a good thing to say yes to?” but rather…
“What am I funding — or postponing — by saying yes?”
The “No” Connection
Something that is coming into sharper focus for me is the relationship between my three words — re-imagine, re-build, and experiment — and what I choose to say yes or no to.
Particularly since re-imagining often begins with a no.
No to the assumption that everything must be accommodated.
No to the belief that saying no makes you selfish, rigid, or uncaring.
As someone who has the tendency to be a people-pleaser this really resonates with me.
Sometimes re-imagining simply means asking: What if my capacity mattered, too?
When it comes to re-building, that requires structure — and structure requires boundaries.
You can’t rebuild sustainably if everything remains available. Creativity, after all, thrives under constraints.
This is why “no” is often the guardrail that allows something stronger to take shape.
Experimentation depends on space.
But when you allow every request to become a commitment, there’s no room to test, learn, or adjust.
Saying no protects the experiment — it keeps your choices provisional rather than permanent.
No isn’t a shutdown. It’s a design decision.
Money, Work, & Emotional Labor
Let’s expand this beyond me — allow me to come a bit closer and perhaps knock on your door.
In other words, let’s talk about “no” in the context of money, work, and emotional labor.
One of the more unglamorous aspects of my job is when I have to point out when my clients are getting in their own way because they won’t say “no.”
They want to get out of debt, but they won’t stop adding to their debt.
They want to earn more, but resist charging more.
Their data reveals what offer to double down on, but they insist on selling what they want to sell.
Saying no is rarely about deprivation. More often, it’s about sequencing. And sometimes the numbers are screaming for you to emphatically say, “no!”
Especially since doing so can allow you to say yes later — to being free of debt, to earning more, to creating more financial stability, to having some breathing room.
And yet, for many people, money-related no’s are emotionally loaded, especially when they feel like they’re being directed at people you love and respect — or the work you most love doing.
Speaking of work: saying no to a prospect, client, business partner, industry colleague, or boss if you work as an employee can feel risky — like it might be interpreted as a lack of flexibility, of vision, of creativity, of ambition, or of commitment.
But the truth is that unchecked yeses often lead to diluted focus and invisible burnout.
However, saying no turns out to be the boundary that helps you to clarify what you’re actually responsible for — and what you’re not.
And then there’s the matter of emotional labor — this is where “yes” often hides in plain sight. It looks like saying:
Yes in order to smooth things over.
Yes to carrying what isn’t yours.
Yes to avoiding disappointing others — but at the expense of your own capacity.
Over time, though, those yeses add up and can be awfully draining on multiple levels.
I’ve experienced it first-hand and I’ve witnessed it often in my work.
I once worked with a couple who deeply wanted to reduce their debt and build savings — and they were doing many things right.
But one of the quiet obstacles we uncovered had nothing to do with math.
They struggled to tell themselves — and their children — no.
Not because they didn’t care about their future.
But because “no” felt loaded. Like scarcity. Like disappointment. Like something they’d promised themselves they wouldn’t repeat.
Once we named that, everything shifted.
Progress didn’t come from harsher rules. It came from reframing no — not as punishment, but as protection.
Protecting their goals.
Protecting their capacity.
Protecting the future they were actively building.
(As an aside, this is an incredibly special thing to witness and to be a part of.)
And what I hope you’ll take away from today’s missive is this:
Saying no isn’t about being rigid. It’s about being intentional.
Every yes is a choice — and every choice shapes what becomes possible next.
This season of re-imagining, re-building, and experimenting is reminding me that no may be one of the most powerful tools available to us — not to limit our lives, but to design them with greater care.
About Jacquette
I love to ask questions and spark aha moments. I love to talk about why success with money is about more than just the numbers, and how the cultural impact on the intersection of money, business, and life matters–A LOT! And, I really hope I help people feel seen, heard, and not judged—especially since money is emotional and personal.
