Women & Money: Myths, Truths, and Observations (Without the Deficit Thinking)
Last week I had the awesome pleasure of speaking at the Financial Planning Association of New Jersey’s Annual Spring Symposium. Our panel - “How to Better Serve Female Clients” - was deftly moderated by financial planning journalist and CFP®, Beth Pinsker, of MarketWatch.
One of the things I appreciated about her fluid approach to our discussion was how her questions reflected the different stages of a woman’s life and how those shape her experiences with money.
However, about half-way into our conversation, I felt compelled to bring up something that really annoys me. It tends to surface whenever the focus of the conversation is to look at money through a racial lens or, as on this day, a gender lens—and waaaay too much time is focused on what a person lacks, what a person doesn’t do, how they fall behind, and what needs to be fixed.
Over the years, I’ve been in too many rooms where the conversations about women and money (or Black people and money) start to veer toward deficit thinking. Ugh! Especially since that’s never the full story, or even the best story.
And, I’ve been in this industry too long not to push back on deficit thinking when I feel it creeping into the conversation. Unintentional as it may be.
Here’s why: For as long as I’ve been working with women around money — as entrepreneurs, as professionals, as stewards of households and businesses — I rarely see incompetence or avoidance.
I see curiosity, intentionality, and a deep desire to make smart choices.
I also see a deep desire to be heard and feel seen, and to not be put into a “one-size-fits-all” box.
So today, I wanted to name a few myths that deserve to be retired, highlight some powerful truths worth celebrating, and share observations that signal where we’re heading next.
The Myths We’re Still Shaking Off
Myth 1: “Women aren’t good with money.”
Honestly, this one has always baffled me.
This myth suggests women lack aptitude, interest, or capability when it comes to money management. When in reality, women often manage complex financial ecosystems — balancing household budgets, running businesses, handling caregiving expenses, and planning for long-term needs — often with less margin and more constraints.
Plus, studies show women are just as capable (and often more consistent) investors, savers, and stewards of money.
One of the points that was made frequently throughout the panel is how what women often lack is access to financial advisors who speak without condescension and who acknowledge them (when they are married/partnered).
As the saying goes, this myth is like the old chestnut that refuses to die.
Myth 2: “Women are risk-averse.”
This myth oversimplifies women’s financial decision-making as timid or fearful. But caution and discernment aren’t the same as aversion.
What looks like “risk-aversion” is often risk-awareness — a thoughtful approach shaped by life experience (pay gaps, career interruptions, caregiving responsibilities).
Research (e.g., Fidelity, Vanguard) shows women take calculated risks and tend to have steadier investment habits, resulting in competitive (sometimes superior) returns over time.
Myth 3: “Women don’t care about wealth — just security.”
The implication here is that women aim only to get by, not build or grow.
This myth diminishes ambition and suggests women aren’t interested in investing, scaling businesses, or legacy-building.
My clients represent women who are debunking this myth…in action. They, like many other women, are building multi-million-dollar businesses, investing in real estate, starting funds, and setting intergenerational wealth goals.
For some reason, there’s this narrative that wealth and security are binary options—when they are not. Security is important and necessary; it’s what gives you the capacity to build wealth, in fact. But, it sits alongside freedom, impact, and legacy.
Myth 4: “Women are too emotional about money.”
Oooh, you know this one rankles my feathers! First, it’s as if women “have” emotions and men “don’t.” Hogwash! This way of thinking only serves to reinforce outdated gender stereotypes.
Second, this myth paints emotionality as a liability rather than an asset. As you may know, I’m known for saying, “you’re always in front, but the question is whether you’re leading your emotions or being pushed by them.” (By the way, it’s always a bit weird to quote myself - 🙂)
Emotions are present in all financial decisions (for everyone, regardless of gender/gender identification). What’s often labeled as “emotional” in women is relational intelligence — a holistic awareness of how money affects people and relationships. Used well, that leads to thoughtful, values-aligned choices.
Observations: What’s Happening & What’s Next
Long-held unhealthy money beliefs and myths may be hard to shake-off, but encouraging shifts are happening— actively reshaping the narrative around women and money.
Here’s what I think is cool:
Women are defining wealth on their own terms.
I’m known for saying that everyone defines financial success differently. But however you define it, it involves more than just numbers.
You see that with how more and more women are expanding the definition of wealth beyond just accumulation.
Yes, they want strong investment (and maybe real estate) portfolios and thriving businesses — but they’re also measuring wealth by autonomy, flexibility, joy, and impact.
They’re asking:
“How do I want my money to feel and function?” — not just “How much is enough?”
This shift is pushing traditional financial professionals and advisors to join folks like me in broadening the conversation from numbers alone to life design, values, and purpose.
Women are becoming unapologetic about ambition.
More women are saying — out loud — that they want to build wealth, scale big businesses, invest aggressively, and leave legacies.
And they’re doing so without softening it with disclaimers or apologies.
I often hear:
"Yes, I want security — but I also want abundance, freedom, and the power to shape outcomes.”
This clarity is powerful…and dare I say, “sexy!” 😉
Women are demanding better financial relationships.
Gone are the days when women tolerated advisors who talked past them or dumbed things down.
Today’s women are vetting advisors, accountants, attorneys, and business partners with sharp eyes — looking for those who respect their intelligence and unique needs.
They’re saying:
"If you can’t speak to me directly and clearly, I’ll find someone who can."
This demand is (thankfully) forcing shifts in how financial services are delivered — with more inclusion, better listening, and more tailored advice.
Women are embracing financial rituals and systems.
Beyond strategy, I see women developing consistent financial rituals — quarterly business reviews, money dates, end-of-year reflections — that keep them engaged and informed.
They’re not waiting for emergencies to get financially clear; they’re building habits that make money management a regular, empowered part of life.
This ritual-building strengthens confidence and fluency — and creates space for long-term visioning.
I see these observations as signals of an evolving relationship between women and money — one that’s expansive, intentional, and unapologetically powerful.
Where Do We Go From Here?
If there’s one thing I hope you take from today’s piece, it’s this:
The relationship between women and money is not broken. It’s evolving.
Yes, there are knowledge gaps to close (none of us knows everything) and systems to improve — but the narrative we tell matters.
The more we highlight agency, ambition, and intentionality (instead of deficits), the faster we shift what’s possible for ourselves and others.
So here’s my gentle nudge to you:
If you’re a woman reading this: Keep defining wealth on your terms. Stay curious, stay bold, and don’t settle for financial relationships or advice that diminish your power. Your goals — whatever they are — are valid and worthy.
If you serve women as a financial professional, advisor, or business partner: Listen deeply. Avoid assumptions. Meet women where they are — with respect, not condescension. And broaden the conversation beyond spreadsheets to values, purpose, and vision.
That’s how we move forward. Together.
That’s how we write a new story about women and money — one rooted in strength, clarity, and possibility.
About Jacquette
I love to ask questions and spark aha moments. I love to talk about why success with money is about more than just the numbers, and how the cultural impact on the intersection of money, business, and life matters–A LOT! And, I really hope I help people feel seen, heard, and not judged—especially since money is emotional and personal.
