When you think about what you crave – that thing you desire, which is nestled deep within your soul – you are naturally focused on what you want. Especially if you feel like your life will be so much better once you’re actually experiencing what you are craving.
Thus, it is natural to envision how much your life and circumstances will change. And to vividly picture how your life will be different. In fact, this picture is probably so darn clear, you can’t wait to experience it with senses other than your mind’s eye. Right?
So after spending the last few weeks asking you to focus on what you most want and asking you to connect with the power it beholds, it may now seem odd of me to ask you to pivot and redirect your gaze. Yet that is exactly what I’m doing.
For a short while, it is time to turn your attention to what your craving says about what you don’t want.
What’s Being Displaced?
Because, what you crave is intended to displace something.
Craving emotional intimacy likely replaces feeling and/or being alone.
Craving financial security and independence likely replaces feeling and/or being financially vulnerable.
Craving an amazing career likely replaces working at a job or in role that leaves you feeling…blah – like you’re just going through the motions but not really showing up fully engaged and jazzed.
Craving more success likely replaces feeling like you haven’t reached your peak potential.
Craving better health likely replaces an unwell and/or unfit body that is not as strong as you want (or need) it to be, so that can show up everyday at full physical, mental and emotional capacity.
Only you have the answers as to what what you crave is displacing. But more than likely, it is something that doesn’t feel good; something that isn’t working; or something that doesn’t match with your self-perception.
Therefore, when it comes to what you want, it also means there is something you don’t want. (Hint: now is a good time to pause and write down what you don’t want.)
While it is up to you personalize your what you crave/don’t want list, the aforementioned examples were offered to remind you of the adage about how nature abhors a vacuum.
In other words, to make room for what you crave, something has to go.
To Have; Let Go
Turns out that not only is what you crave a catalyst for changing your circumstances and experiences, it is also the mechanism that pulls you to a “new” you.
What you crave is asking YOU to be a different person on some level, too.
Are you ready? Are you ready for the personal growth and transformation required by what you crave?
Is the pull of what you want deep down within your soul stronger than the comfort of where you are?
Or, do you want your craving to be fulfilled without changing anything about your current situation? If you said, “yes,” you wouldn’t be alone. To some extent we all dabble in this duality.
Heck, you don’t need me to tell you that even if you don’t like certain circumstances, there is often comfort with the known and familiar, which can make going after what you crave feel daunting. Especially when you acknowledge what you don’t want (this is a form of taking a stand, too), and acknowledge that your future you needs something about the current you to change.
What is the “new” you going to need from the current you? To…
- Learn a new skill
- Reboot an area of your life
- Change certain habits
- Change your mindset and attitude
- Up your game (or approach)
- Stretch outside your comfort zone
When I think about what I crave, I can get lost in the imagery of what life will be like at some point in the future when I have it. Just writing that sentence brings a smile to my face. But honestly, I get less excited about the work it requires. Especially since my “new” me needs me to change several things simultaneously!
I suspect the same is true for you, too.
The necessary change is scary and exciting, right?!
And it’s why one key aspect of making smart choices in pursuit of what you crave is knowing what you don’t want. It’s a motivator for when the process of change gets hard. Likewise, it helps you gain clarity around your non-negotiables.
Oh, and to be clear, asking about what you don’t want isn’t an exercise in just being reactive and simply wanting the complete opposite of what you have (and don’t like). That’s minimizes this process and makes it too elementary.
So while the end result of what you crave may appear to be a “reactive” response to what you don’t want, that isn’t the only motivation for your soul-longing desire.
Therefore, asking about what you don’t want is more like an invitation to be honest with yourself about how what you want is displacing something you’ve grown use to; that is serving (or has served) a purpose; and contains value on some level.
This means that when want you don’t want gets displaced, there’s a lot more that is being shifted, too. Including a shift from the current you to the “new” you.
As you can see, there are so, so many layers to satisfying what it is that you crave deep within your soul – some of which are visible, many more that are invisible.
From this series on cravings, one of the things I hope I’ve made clear is this: getting what you most want is a participatory journey. One that is really (like really) hard if you singularly focus on the result, but not the process necessary to get it.
Even worse: if you only focus on what you want and not what needs to change in order for it to materialize!
As I mentioned when I kicked off this series, everybody craves something. My hope is that you’ll go after whatever that is for you with even more gusto. Because what you crave is waiting on you…especially the new you!!