Seriously, what are you craving? What do you want?
Maybe it is something that you haven’t told anyone about, or that very few people are aware of. Heck, you very well may not have even given yourself permission to say it out loud!
Craving anything tends to get a bad rap. Especially when thought of through the usual definition of it in our society. You know, the sort of thinking that says they represent impulse driven, on the surface, and/or quick fix choices. Or, they are an indication of urges you cannot control – like for certain, unhealthy foods, or a purchase that is unplanned and too expensive. There are cravings like these.
But when I ask – “What are you craving?” – I’m not talking about these types of cravings. Nor am I talking about cravings just in terms of your goals, plans and dreams.
What I’m referring to is more like the thing you desire that resides deep down within your soul. What is that for you?
Is it emotional intimacy? Greater financial security and independence? An amazing career? More success? Better health? Something else?
Whatever is your thing, that’s what I want you to have in mind as we start this series on cravings. And if you haven’t thought about it in awhile, because you’ve longed for it so long, now is a good time to write it down.
The reason I am asking, “What are you craving?,” is because while it is an important question to ponder anytime, it becomes very poignant when we reach this point on the calendar. We’re rounding the corner toward the end of the year, and the holiday season will soon be upon us. A combination that can often make us nostalgic for what we most want, but don’t yet have.
And just like food cravings can provide hints about what your body needs – maybe you’re dehydrated, or lacking some key nutrients, or experiencing hormonal changes, etc. The type of cravings I am speaking of usually carry important messages about what is lacking or needs attention in your life, or both.
What’s the Reason?
For a variety of reasons, what you crave is complex. It is emotional; it means something to you; and, in some way, it is connected to your sense of identity and a sense of purpose. After all, what you crave can also illuminate the depth of your relationship to yourself and what it is that your craving represents. (It always comes back to relationships, doesn’t it?!)
Likewise, there are a host of reasons as to why you don’t yet have what you want – or to the degree you’d like.
Thus, the reason I asked you earlier to write down what you are craving: so that you can start to reconnect with what it means to you – including why it is important to you – and start to confront some of the reasons it hasn’t come to fruition.
These may not be the simplest or most comfortable questions to answer, but they are important to explore if you truly want what you want. Because embedded in your answers are clues about your mindset, attitude, and daily behavior about…everything! What you currently have, as well as what you crave.
What Will it Take?
Another reason for asking you to write down what you crave is so that you can see on paper (and not just in your head), what it will take to have what you want. Because everything has a cost to it.
For example, if what you crave is greater financial security and independence, are you willing to work a lot of hours to generate the income you can invest; are you willing to take some risks (you don’t create wealth playing it safe); are you willing to experience some losses along the way?
These are examples of the price you may have to pay to have greater financial security and independence. And if you aren’t just fantasizing about it, you have to be willing to pay the price.
So when it comes to what you crave, (a) do you know the price that comes with the journey associated with having it, and (b) are you willing to pay it…as often as you need to?
Going beyond the obvious
This time of the year is the perfect storm of high emotions and expectations – yours and those around you – due to the busyness of the season; being in a reflective and anticipatory mood; and spending time with family and friends you may not see day-to-day. All of which can bring to the surface the thing you crave, as well as trigger feelings of regret, longing, and impatience.
This time of the year also tends to amplify whatever it is you crave. I know it does for me, especially since my mother died four years ago.
And maybe, you feel like life is sometimes cruel because you are reminded of what you want and don’t have almost everyday. Or, maybe you’ve been waiting so long and it feels so out of grasp that you’ve given up. Or, maybe you’re someplace in the middle.
Wherever you are on the spectrum, if you think about it, giving yourself permission to crave what you so deeply want is a true exercise in bravery. Sort of like envisioning hope walking across a high wire.
It likely also means, if you loosely interpret Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, that you feel safe, have a close-knit tribe of family and friends that support you, and that you and what you crave matter and will make a difference to the world – whether that is literally or simply in terms of your inner-circle.
Yet, what often gets overlooked is the higher nature calling of your cravings. Yeah, this is about to get meta…
Not only does giving yourself permission to crave what you want enable you to show up as your full self, so does the process of bringing it to fruition.
And this is why I want us to explore the role and meaning of cravings in each of our lives. Because what you crave is an invitation to take a journey – one that asks you to work on yourself and look for the deeper meaning of what is happening to and for you.
For example, when you crave chocolate cake, is it really just because you have a sweet tooth? Or, is it because it brings back fond memories of your childhood and right now you crave a family of your own creation?
Yes, the holiday season can be stressful, and it can trigger emotions you haven’t acknowledged. But it can also be magical.
Right now, could you use a bit more magic in your life? And, could reconnecting with your cravings help you connect with that magic?
I sure think so!
p.s. Monday, October 29th is the last Comfort Circle™ dinner for the 2018 season. And, you guessed it, we’re talking about cravings – the message behind them; the price they require; and the journey what you crave is asking you to take. Personally, I am crazy enough to believe that (re)connecting with what you crave can help you experience more magic in your life. And, we all could use a bit more magic in our lives right about now, eh?! Click here for details and to RSVP.