It can be such an intimidating word, right? In fact, I bet you had a visceral reaction just from reading p.o.w.e.r.
So before I go on, I have a few questions for you:
- How did you react when you read “power”? If your response wasn’t physical, what did you say to yourself?
- How do you define power?
- When do you feel powerful; do you like the sensation?
- How do you express your power; when do you express it; with whom? And, do you feel comfortable expressing it?
- Do you ever suppress your power?
- Where do you feel most powerful: at home, at work, both?
- When have you given away your power? What were the circumstances?
- What social, familial and cultural factors have shaped your definition of and how you feel about power?
I know, here I go asking questions that aren’t the simplest or most comfortable…again. But the reason I ask the above questions is because, whether you acknowledge it or not, power shows up in every area of your life, and plays a role, to some degree, in every type of relationship that you have.
That means power even plays a role with regards to what it is you crave that resides deep down within your soul.
This is true whether what you crave is emotional intimacy; greater financial security and independence; an amazing career; more success; better health; or something else. And since there is power in and behind what it is you desire, it is important for you to fully own your power.
Sure, you might you do this with aplomb already in some areas of your life and with certain relationships. However, I suspect that when it comes to what you deeply crave, you might need a little boost. I say this because really, truly going after what your soul wants tends to uncover gremlins of fear and self-doubt you didn’t even know you had!
This is why I want to use this post in the series to invite you to explore the connection between what you crave and the degree to which you understand your relationship to power. Because just like what you crave holds clues about your mindset and attitude, in general, it certainly does the same when it comes to your mindset and attitude about power.
Owning Your Power
If you skipped the questions at the beginning, now is a good time to pause and go answer them. Especially if you have a love-hate relationship with the notion of power. Because the connection between how you define and experience power and your ability to own it is incredibly strong. And you don’t want this connection to cause you to unwittingly give your power away.
Consequently, here are four ways to dissect your relationship with power so you can fully own it when it comes to what you desire.
Create a desire map
Grab a sheet of paper and make four columns. The first column is for noting what you crave (as per the first piece in this series); the second column is to note what is the motivation for each craving; the third column is to note what limiting beliefs and fears you have concerning each craving; and the fourth column is to note what small step you can take as soon as tomorrow.
Define the value
When this craving is fulfilled, what value will it bring to your life?
Make the connection
When you envision your craving being fulfilled, in what ways will honoring and having what you most want make you feel powerful?
Focus on your power (in two parts)
(1) When you think about this power, does anything make you afraid of it?
If so, it’s not unusual. Sometimes, you and I are scared of our power – scared because of how we think others will respond. Will our power frighten others, and make us less likeable and/or loveable as a result. (After all, we all want to be loved and accepted.)
Or, sometimes we are afraid of feeling the full intensity of our power because we keep hearing in the back of our heads statements like, “Don’t get too big for your britches…don’t be conceited.”
What can make power a bit tricky is this: More often than not, we learned how to suppress our power. But not how to work with it!
(2) That said, even if you’re slightly afraid of embracing your power, there is something that makes it attractive and alluring to you. What is that?
As you move past the fear of fully embracing your power, you’ll be able to focus on what you find attractive about the power behind your craving. (Funny how that works, right?)
When you think about it, there is a reason there is so much power associated with what you crave: it is because of what your cravings ask of you. That is why unlocking the power of your desires is so crucial.
Cravings + Power
Cravings ask you to take a stand; they ask you to speak what is true and meaningful for you; they ask you to play bigger than you are right now; they ask you to take action; and they ask you to not hold back. What you crave also tends to kick up every feeling of insecurity and inadequacy. For all these reasons and more, going after what you want can often be scary and uncomfortable, and cause you to feel vulnerable.
It is also why getting what you most want can, rightfully so, make you feel so darn powerful — like a bada**. Talk about being energized! Therefore, it helps to be comfortable with the power of your desires.
Yes, I know it is so cliche to say, “own your power.” But as with many of life’s maxims, it contains some valuable wisdom.
What you crave is an invitation to own your desires; to own who you become when you experience your desires. As a result, it is also an invitation to step more firmly into and own your power – in whatever ways feel most right.
Whereas it is one thing to know you have power, it quite another to embrace and work with this power. So, give yourself permission to want what you want. Because satisfying your cravings – the thing you desire that resides deep down within your soul – needs you to own. your. power.
p.s. Exciting news! The Comfort Circle™ dinner series was recently profiled in Reuters by Chris Taylor. I am incredibly grateful for how well he captured all that makes these evenings special. Click here to check it out.
p.p.s. We have a seats available for the next (and final dinner for the 2018 season). To join us in NYC on Monday, October 29 at 6:30pm, please click here. Our theme: “What Are Your Cravings Telling You?”