Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day…Happy V-Day! 🙂
Last week, I shared how I thought the holiday wasn’t just for expressing love for and to another person. With this question – “How in love with your life are you right now?” – I was encouraging you to think about this day differently than you may have previously. I suggested it was an opportunity to also express love and gratitude to and for life. And, I gave you some questions to ponder.
As I have been working through those same questions, one word keeps surfacing: vulnerable.
Merriam-Webster defines vulnerable as “capable of being physically or emotionally wounded, or open to attack or damage.”
Yikes! None of that sounds pleasant. No wonder we have a hard time being vulnerable with each other.
But it’s good for you
Yet, if you think about the richest, closest relationships you have – the ones where you feel the deepest connection – I bet there’s one thing these relationships all have in common: mutual vulnerability.
In these relationships there’s open (even if tentative at times) communication whereby you share and disclose things you’d never open up for discussion with others.
And when it comes to love and money, there’s just no escaping the necessity for vulnerability.
It’s all about exposing the good, bad, and ugly. Or, as my friend and colleague Manisha Thakor would say, it’s about “getting financially naked.”
And as researcher, Brene Brown, Ph.D., says, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity and change.”
I really like Dr. Brown’s take on vulnerability. It’s the perfect perspective when it comes to embracing the good that comes from being vulnerable and seeing vulnerability as something that can be sexy, too. Here’s what I’d recommend in order to achieve this awesome combo:
- Listen more – It’s important to listen with your ears…as well as your eyes. And, not just to what the other person is or isn’t saying, but also to what you’re feeling.
- Be more flexible – vulnerability involves releasing the need to control everything – give-n-take (read: flexibility) is golden.
- Be more accepting – one of the things that makes being vulnerable difficult are its “sisters” in the form of shame and guilt. These block you (and me) from accepting what is – about yourself, the other person, or your circumstances. Ironically, the fastest path to a new reality is to accept what is.
The way I see it, vulnerability is a precursor to growth.
So, as you settle in to celebrate another Valentine’s Day – whether it’s with your sweetie, with some friends, or on a solo date with yourself, think about where else and how else you can be even more vulnerable.
Again, Happy Valentine’s Day!
p.s. I am cooking up something very cool for you. A place where you can safely feel vulnerable about money, i.e., get answers to the questions you have; learn about what you don’t know you don’t know; be heard; and get the tools that will make managing your money – pleasurable (imagine that!). I’m looking forward to spilling the beans in a few weeks! 🙂