When this post is published there will be 22 days left until 12/31/2013. That means you have a mere three weeks to manage the “big” collision – the one that surfaces around this time of year. The one that usually sparks some degree of self-reflection because you’re evaluating your performance; planning for new beginnings; and managing the emotions that kick in due to the festivities and obligations of the holiday season.
It’s an amazing three-some.
Back in August, I wrote about the problem of solving the wrong problem. When this happens, not only do you tend to misuse your financial capital, but you also typically misuse your time, energy, and other ‘soft’ resources as well.
But here’s the real problem…you rarely realize you’re making this mistake until a considerable amount of time has passed. And, just as it pays to know you are solving the right problem, it also pays to get the order right.
Getting the order wrong can also cause you to misuse your resources of people, time, money, and effort.
The order to which I refer comes from a popular mantra espoused in the self-help and personal transformation arenas.
It’s called the ‘Be-Do-Have’ paradigm.
Most of us tend to focus on the ‘have’ part of this equation, usually followed by the word “enough.” This can look like any number of things; for example, have you caught yourself musing over… Continue Reading…
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving here in the U.S. – one of my favorite holidays! And I’m doubly-excited because it falls on my birthday this year…yippee!!
As I think of Thanksgiving and my birthday, I am reminded to pause, reflect and really acknowledge all that I am grateful for.
I am also reminded of the equation that matters most, in my opinion:
R > E where “R” stands for “relationships” and “E” stands for “everything else” – literally!
Without relationships, it all falls apart because relationships are where it all begins – personally, professionally and, yes, even financially. As we slow down (even if just slightly) to unplug and spend time with family and friends, I want you to know how important our relationship is to me. Continue Reading…
One of the things I love about my work is that I get to be part of the lives of a diverse group of people. With them, I co-create practical, sustainable solutions that shape how money impacts their lives – today and in the future.
Each person – whether a client; book, blog, or magazine reader; social media follower; or TV viewer – comes to the table with their own unique circumstances, questions, concerns, challenges, goals, and dreams.
Despite this diversity, there’s one thing they seem to have in common: they all suffer from what I call the knowledge trap – aka…
…they think they know what they have.
Like them, you probably think you know what you have, too!
I say “think” because it’s not that you are completely in the dark. You’re just are not aware of a “small” but extremely important detail. It’s a very innocent mistake, one that is obscured by what you do know and the fact that for the most part you’re likely doing all the “right” things. Continue Reading…
Much of what I do involves working with people pondering a decision. The root of which either affects their finances or is affected by them. In other words, we pretty much end up talking about and strategizing on almost everything concerning life!
“I have six figures sitting in a savings account earning a measly .015%; what should I do?
“I need to invest; I have money to invest; I just don’t know where to begin and I don’t trust the stock market?
“I’m lucky because I make more than enough, but I have poor savings habits.”
“I need to get out of debt!”
“How do I determine how much to save if we’re planning to buy a house, or start a family, or start a business, or….?”
“I’m getting a divorce and have to start over…and he managed all our finances…”
What’s Different is Actually the Same
The decisions they are looking to make and the questions they are contemplating are varied. But when they come to me with these and other questions like these, they are yearning for the same thing: information. And even though they don’t say it specifically, they also want assurance said information will help them make the right decision. Continue Reading…
What does self-love look like to you?
How do you know when you’re practicing it?
Do you think it is selfish to practice self-love?
When I write, I fancy myself with the notion that I’m writing about topics you and I would actually discuss over coffee or a cocktail. I picture a lively conversation; I see us agreeing and disagreeing; I see us laughing, as well as being contemplative.
Yet, there are times when I wonder if the conversations I’m initiating hit the mark – or if I’ve pushed the envelope a bit too far (like with last week’s post, “Head, Heart, Hormones“). Yes, I was slightly nervous about pressing “publish” on that one…
But then I get private emails, and I know all is well.
Based on the responses I received to last week’s post and to the week’s before about the false intimacy that ensues when people practice credit-card dating, it is even more evident that as individuals, couples, and a society, we have a lot of healing to do! Continue Reading…
I have some friends whose relationship I absolutely adore. They’ve been together more than 30-years.
Some relationships of this length look tired and weary, absent of demonstrative love, smiles, fun and joy.
Not my friends – you can tell they are still each other’s best friend; that they truly enjoy each other’s company; and that they also probably have an active and steamy sex life.
I’m not delusional; plus, I’m close enough to them that when I’m around they don’t hide when they are mad at each other. So, I know a relationship like theirs doesn’t just happen – they both work at it. But as an “outsider” looking in, they make the work seem effortless – even the work of managing the intersection of love and money, including the dynamic of she earns more.
Spend any time with them and it becomes pretty evident that their relationship is operating with all cylinders – head, heart, and hormones – in sync. It’s a beautiful thing to witness.
When couples come to me for financial coaching, they say things like… Continue Reading…
There is a trend happening when it comes to the matter of talking about love and money.
You may have noticed it as well. Heck, it may even be a bandwagon you’ve jumped on.
It’s a trend, however, that I find disturbing. Because I believe it is causing couples to miss the whole point of the purpose and intent of talking about love and money.
Paul Carrick Brunson, one of the people I follow on Twitter, who works as a modern-day matchmaker and is the co-host of LoveTown on the OWN network, shared a link to, “Bad Credit: A Deal Breaker for Many Singles.” It reminded me of a related piece that appeared in the New York Times almost a year ago – “Perfect 10? Never Mind That. Ask Her for Her Credit Score.” There have been countless other articles like these, recently — articles that put a spotlight on a particular number: one’s credit score.
My problem isn’t with the question of asking about someone’s credit score. That is certainly important information to (eventually) know.
My problem is with the timing and the seemingly associated judgment without context. Continue Reading…
“I’m coming out. I want the world to know; Got to let it show… There’s a new me coming out…And I just feel so good” Diana Ross (lyrics from “I’m Coming Out”)
Today is the day…it’s my “coming out” party! Yay!! I am SO proud and excited to welcome you to my new gorgeous website!!
Earlier this year, you may remember I wrote about not knowing what you’re missing until you have what you never had.
That’s how I feel today.
I lovingly blame Stephanie Pollock for setting the ball in motion. During one of our coaching sessions, she said, “Jacquette, there’s nothing wrong with your website; it’s perfectly fine; it’s pretty; but I just don’t feel you. Where’s the vibrant, funny, bold, upbeat person I speak with every week.”
Until that conversation, I didn’t realize the fullness of my personality wasn’t coming through to my site, visually.
When someone, I knew she didn’t know, also expressed the same sentiment about five months later, it really hit me that she was onto something.
McKenzie Slaughter also thought my site was lacking a little “umph,” as they say. And once she got her hands on it, I then saw just how much of the quirky, funky, fun, “full of life,” sexy, side of me was in fact absent from the previous iterations of first sterlingchoices.net and then jacquettetimmons.com-v1.0. Continue Reading…
Ah, man…I wanted nothing more than to follow through on what I promised last week. To write and say, “Yeah baby, we’re live. Check out my new website!!”
But alas, I am not
We need a little more time.
The wait won’t be long, though; we will be ready to go live next week. However, my “announcement” post is not appropriate for today.
Everything has a rhythm
When I was thinking of what to write about instead, the lyrics of an old funk song by Parliament Funkadelic popped to mind: “…if it don’t fit, don’t force it…”
From the beginning, I have thought of this series of behind-the-scenes posts as “shadows.” Meaning: my intent for sharing the lessons I have learned, during this period of transformation, is/was so they could serve a purpose for you, too.
I guess this experience has another lesson for you and me to (re)learn. Continue Reading…
I’m an avid outdoor runner, as you most likely know. And this time of year is particularly exciting because Prospect Park is filled with the energy of running groups training for the New York City Marathon – training for how to finish a 26.2 mile race strong.
On a recent run, as I was approaching the end of my 3.3 mile loop, I behaved just like the person I was venting about in this Twitter post from earlier this year:
Can’t relate because you’re not a runner?
If you drive, the same thing happens when the car behind you moves to the left lane, speeds up to pass you, passes you, shifts back into your lane, and then slows down. Frustrating, right? Continue Reading…