Tomorrow (Sunday) morning, I will be on HOT 97FM with host, Lisa Evers, and others talking about money.
On Tuesday, I have one of the coolest speaking gigs to-date for a major insurance company.
On Wednesday, I’m hosting the first Financial Intimacy Hour segment of 2015.
Each of these are examples of the Relationship Economy at work in my life.
What are recent examples at work in yours?
Your examples and mine are reminders that not only is business done between people, but business comes through people.
It’s no mystery that you and I don’t achieve success on our efforts alone. After all, we know success is all about relationships.
The mystery is the fact that you rarely know who holds the key to what’s next for you – who will be that person to unlock the door that makes room for your next opportunity be it promotion, job, client or something else you desire!
It’s a mystery that some (maybe even you) don’t manage well. In part, because you’ve fallen for the myth. The myth that says the key to growth and advancement is “keep your head down” and work – and don’t forget to work hard, too. And so you do and you end up working harder on the work than you do on what leads to the work in the first place.
The other reason is that embracing the mystery feels a little bit like leaving too much to chance, which is totally counter to your nature to want to be in control.
Even though you may feel stagnant in your career or business, you either network ineffectively or with a “me-focused” mentality. Or, just as unfortunate, you only network when you need something – like a new job or new client.
You confuse having an extensive contact list or thousands of friends on Facebook or many followers on Twitter or 500+ connections on LinkedIn as having cultivated relationships with all these people.
You don’t recognize your emotional intelligence as the intangible currency that can help you connect to the human being beneath the persona we all have.
Yes, relationships have been the cornerstone of business since, well, forever. But in the new economy of the 21st century when even employees are a “brand,” relationship management skills aren’t a nice-to-have. They are required.
How well you manage the relationships in your life are your personal currency. Because…
…rarely are you in the room (or at the table) when important decisions about YOU are being made.
So when you don’t manage the mystery of relationships well, you miss out on the inside-scoop; you don’t have someone advocating for you over other options; and you potentially elongate your path to even greater success.
When you don’t manage the mystery of relationships, you end up sacrificing the very key to your success!
On the other hand, when you tap into the mystery of relationships:
- You realize that having a relationship-building strategy isn’t sleazy and manipulative. When done with a “win-win” intent, it’s smart.
- You learn how to genuinely build rapport and trust while being sensitive to other people’s boundaries AND without stretching yourself too thin.
- You realize that sometimes your best opportunities actually come through people who aren’t the closest to you. Ironic, right?
Relationship building is both art + science. It’s also a skill.
If you’d like to refine your relationship management skills…
If you’d like more success at work…
If you’d like to experience deeper personal connections at home (because what creates a great business life can also create a great personal life)…
I invite you to this month’s Financial Intimacy Hour this coming Wednesday, 25 February at 8pm ET. My guest, Michelle Y. Talbert, Esq. will share how to use curiosity, the art of conversation, and the skill of making connections to experience more success at work and more meaning at home.
Hope you can join us! Click here to register; it’s FREE.
p.s. if you can, tune into HOT 97FM at 9am on Sunday, February 22nd! Click here to stream the station from your computer.
Awhile ago, I introduced you to my two friends, a couple, whom have been together more than 30-years. After this amount of time, some relationships can begin to look tired and weary, absent of demonstrative love, smiles, fun and joy.
Not my friends – you can tell they are still each other’s best friend; that they truly enjoy each other’s company; and that they also probably have an active and steamy sex life.
If you spend any time with them, it becomes pretty evident that they are in sync, committed to each other, and willing to be vulnerable. And as you know, achieving this trifecta is no easy feat.
And let’s face it, few things tap into your degree of vulnerability the way love, money, and love + money do!
Few things cast a spotlight on what is and what isn’t working in your relationship (including the relationship you have with yourself) the way the intersection of love + money does.
Valentine’s Day, whether you’re coupled up with your boo or celebrating being single, is about love. So here are four (4) ways to embrace the sentiment of the day, and apply it to how you manage the intersection of love + money…today and beyond:
- Stop Judging; Start Listening. Epictetus said, “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.” But when it comes to love + money, how much time do you spend really observing and listening rather than talking and judging? It’s far easier to do the latter, but the former will both provide you with greater insight that can foster a deeper awareness as well as a deeper connection.
- Be Flexible. Everything that has breath needs to oxygen to grow…and that includes your relationship. But you cut off that oxygen when you insist on everything being done your way. While there’s a lot of room for self-care in any healthy relationship, there’s isn’t much room for selfishness.
- Follow, Sometimes. Relationships are like a graceful, sensuous dance, and sometimes that means you need to let the other person lead.
- Have a Short Memory. Unfortunately, and despite the best of intentions, there will simply be times when your beloved will unwittingly do or say something that hurts your feelings and vice versa. If you can’t let go, you can’t grow. This is not to suggest you fake “forgiving;” rather, once you’ve reached the point of forgiveness don’t constantly remind your sweetie of what they’ve done wrong.
Valentine’s Day could easily be called, “a day of vulnerability” because it brings up all sorts of emotions and expectations – regardless of your relationship status. What Valentine’s Day sparks on one day of your life, money arouses every. single. day of your life!
Loving yourself, loving another, and managing money are truly humbling experiences. They remind you and me that we don’t always have the answers; that there is always something to be discovered about ourselves and another person; and that success with love + money is best achieved with intentional, proactive action.
However you are spending this day, I hope it is full of love – beginning with self love and self-care.
p.s. If you haven’t read my book, “Financial Intimacy” yet, why not grab a copy AND get a free gift? Click here for instructions.
How often do you ask that question?
More often, I bet your focus is on when you take a chance and what you thought would happen (or planned on happening) doesn’t quite pan out.
You take a leap, but the net you prepared for doesn’t appear!
Want to leave your job – without a job.
No problem, you’ve saved enough money.
Want to finally start an entrepreneurial venture.
Not only have you saved, but you researched and tested your product or service idea. Success is most certain!
Want to start a new relationship. Or, maybe leave one.
Either is a choice that involves welcoming in new love, and you’re ready.
These are all common examples of the usual leaps you and I take.
They are also examples of leaps you may think about or talk about taking but never really act on because of the “net.” The three-letter word that means different things to each of us and looks differently for each of us, too – but that symbolizes safety in having made the right choice and assurance that you can handle the consequences.
Lately, I’ve been wondering: What if the real risk is the leap you and I don’t take?
What would you say…
What would you do…
What might you discover if the net you needed to feel confident enough to take a leap was there?
What sparked this inquiry was a blog post written by and about one of my favorite people in the personal finance journalism space, Tess Vigeland. For background, Tess was, for many years, the host of Marketplace Money (one of my favorite NPR programs). She leapt, leaving the show two years ago without a plan B and her post was an update on the lessons she learned and the opportunities that have unfolded because of her taking the leap.
As she recounted her story, I wondered…
What assumptions do we make about what’s “safe” and “secure?”
When is a leap a wee-bit insane rather than a brave + bold move?
If all leaps, to some extent, are steps into the unknown, why are some considered conventional and others unconventional?
And then in an exchange with a friend on LinkedIn, I wondered: What gets left unsaid, undone, and undiscovered, because our fear about the net (would it break, shift, or disappear) prevented us from taking a leap?
And so I ask you: What’s stopping you from taking the leap – that thing which was the first thought that popped to mind as you’ve read this thus far?
More than likely, it’s a concern…
- about money;
- or time;
- or the gulf between the perception you have of yourself and the perception others have of you;
- or the tricky balance of conforming yet doing it your way (let’s face it, we all conform to something to some degree).
Since everyone’s net is different, perhaps the first place to start is with making sure you’re really making decisions based on what your net needs to look like – and not based upon someone else’s definition. Avoid the trap of doing with the risks and nets what is commonly done regarding money – viewing it monolithically.
Maybe it requires a reexamination of what you’re labeling as a safe bet.
Maybe it requires remembering that your leap into the unknown isn’t one big, gigantic step made spontaneously, but a series of small, measured and thoughtful steps.
Maybe reflecting on the wise words of Henry David Thoreau can help:
“We must walk consciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success.”
Leap responsibly. Leap thoughtfully. Leap deliberately. Leap with creative caution. But stop procrastinating and take that leap you’ve been contemplating!
There is a silent epidemic afflicting approximately 30 million U.S. workers. You very well may be one of them – if you worry about money.
Sometimes that looks like stress over your day-to-day finances.
Other times, it’s concern over your future financial goals. Or, having apprehension around whom to trust with helping you to make financial decisions.
At even other times, it’s a more abstract fear about something that certainly impacts you but that you have little control over: the economy.
Whatever the trigger, you don’t leave your financial stress at home.
So, when you walk through the proverbial office door (even if it’s your home office), your financial stress tags along with you. As a result, it impacts your productivity, focus and creativity.
I am not so naive to suggest that any one of us can eliminate financial stress entirely. There’s likely to always be a little tension between where you are and where you want to be — that’s healthy stress.
But here are a few recommendations on how to take control of the financial stress that is unhealthy, all-consuming and blocking you from experiencing more (and costing your employer approximately $7,000 in lost productivity each year!):
- Come clean – worry about money is called a silent epidemic because most people keep their financial problems close to the vest. Or worst yet, they bury their head in the sand believing when they come up for air the problem will be smaller or non-existent. Admit something is amiss, even if it’s just to yourself.
- Define the nature of your financial stress – addressing your day-to-day concerns about money the same way you would your fears about the economy will only add to your stress levels! Make sure your stress management approach matches they type of stress (or stresses) you have.
- Create a plan of action – emphasis on action! Don’t just lay out what you’re going to do, but also note when, how and what tool/resources you’ll tap into.
- Don’t wait – “when/then” thinking will jeopardize your efforts to reduce your stress,
- Ask for help – it can be in the form of professional help or by enlisting a family member/friend to be your accountability partner. You don’t have to tackle your financial stress alone…unless you want to.
- Give yourself credit – take the time to acknowledge your financial strengths and figure out how you can do more of what you do well.
- Be humble enough to recognize that financial stress isn’t just about financial dysfunction.
One of the biggest problems with financial stress is how the circumstances of it force you to be a lopsided thinker. You’re so preoccupied with identifying a short-term solution, you don’t have the capacity to think long-term…to operate at your highest level of being and be the strategic, tactical, productive, engaged and creative person that you are!
Reducing your financial stress means increasing your financial peace of mind, which will make you happier and more productive (and potentially make you and your employer more profitable). Suhweet, right?!
So, let’s do this together.
I invite you to join me on Thursday, 29 January at 8pm ET for our annual Financial Open House. You come with questions; I show up with answers; and, we’ll have a good time!
I am very much interested in your financial well-being.
More than anything, I want your financial life and choices to reflect the successes you experience in other spheres of your life.
I want you to feel confident, powerful and validated. Yet, this is not necessarily how some of my clients feel when we begin to work together.
Instead, they are hiding in the financial closet embarrassed because their financial condition doesn’t reflect what they project or want. Or, they feel guilty about past choices unable to forgive themselves, let go and move on. Or, they are ashamed by what they don’t have, don’t know or don’t have control over like they expected.
For my clients whom are educated, work in diverse professions and industries, live creatively, often quirky and successful at charting their own path, this is unsettling. Because it’s out of sync with everything else about their lives.
Lots of people (I know very scientific, right?) are in the financial closet about their money situation for any number of personal and societal reasons ranging from shame to acceptance to control to validation to power. The result: They think they’re the only one!
- Are the financial goals and resolutions you have for 2015 the same as what you had last year and the year before that and the year before that?
- Has the same financial demon (however you define that) reared its head, again?
- Do you have a financial regret you simply haven’t been able to shake?
- Does that big, audacious goal feel oh so close, yet so far from your grasp…again?
Do you feel financially alone – like this is only happening to you? Do you keep it to yourself because you feel embarrassed or ashamed or guilty or confounded? Do you believe that to disclose the aspects of your money situation you’ve been hiding will minimize the accomplishments in other areas of your life?
Well, let me tell you: From my work with hundreds of coaching clients and thousands of workshop attendees, I can assure you YOU are not alone. Everyone struggles with something when it comes to money. (And by the way, don’t fall into the trap of limiting the meaning of the word struggle to survival.)
The key is to not let your financial struggles sabotage your financial well-being.
Now, to be clear, there’s a difference between “secret” and “private” and I’m NOT recommending that you broadcast the details of your money situation to everyone, everywhere. Unless sharing like that is something you do naturally. Personally, I can’t imagine that; I’m open, but reserved. Professionally, my private banking training can’t fathom it.
But if I may, I’d like to add another goal or resolution to your list — come out of financial hiding. Especially if you think you’re the only one dealing with whatever is tripping you up. This way of thinking is costly – both financially and emotionally – and can negatively impact your financial well-being.
So as you settle a little more into 2015 remember – you’re not alone. And if you are ready to come out of the closet about your financial situation, I can help. Click here to learn how.
It’s here! That time of year when you and I are inundated with messages about how to make this year our best year yet. According to the University of Scranton-Journal of Clinical Psychology, 45% of Americans will do this by making New Years resolutions.
Some will tell you that making resolutions is the key to your transformation; others will tell you resolutions are hogwash and instead you should focus on goals.
At the end of the day, I think it boils down to semantics. You can call it making resolutions or goal-setting – either way, both reflect that there is something about your current reality or experience that you want to change.
With all the emphasis on the actions you need to take to achieve your resolution or goal (i.e., avoid junk food; exercise more; spend less; save more; etc.), which indeed is important, I wish more people focused on the mindset needed to change their reality.
To truly succeed at keeping your resolutions or with meeting your goals, you need to change your mind, too!
Do you know why? Because most of the obstacles you’ll face as you work on your resolution or goal are internal…not external.
I encountered this this morning. One of my personal goals for 2015 is to run four (4) half-marathons. The first one I’m targeting is March 15th, not that far away. So that means I need to run! But I run outside, and when I saw the air temperature was 16 degrees with the wind chill making it even colder, I was NOT too enthusiastic about today’s run and almost talked myself out of it.
But I reminded myself that while I can’t control the weather, I can choose how many layers to put on. Plus, I play this game with myself where, daily, I can ask, “If I do nothing else today, what would make me feel successful – like I accomplished something?” Whatever that is, I do. Today, that was running regardless of how cold it is.
So, a full week into 2015, if you need help with your resolutions or goals, consider this:
- It’s not enough to have a plan. You’ll be better served if your plan addresses not just the actions you need to take, but also the mindset you need to have to keep your resolutions or meet your goals.
- Think about your resolutions/goals through the prism of the habits or rituals you need to foster to set yourself up for success, as well as those you need to discontinue.
- Don’t just focus on the large, sweeping resolution/goal you have. Also visualize the smaller ones that need to happen along the way that ultimately make the big one possible. (For example, today’s 3.3 mile run helps me get ready for March’s 13.2 mile run.)
- Go beyond the surface reason for your resolution/goal. Invest the time to tap into the real motivation; here’s a good time to ask, “What else?“
- Write down (preferably on paper) the one thing you can do daily and weekly to set yourself up for success.
- Then, write down what you’ll do to re-group when you falter. (ALERT! We all falter from time to time. Having a lapse or relapse isn’t the issue – it’s what you do to get back into the groove that matters.)
- Know the tools and the people you’ll need to support you…and then diligently use them!
In truth, this time of year really isn’t that different than any other month or day. It’s just that it is a universal marker for us all to collectively start over or do something we’ve never done before – together.
So whether you prefer to make resolutions or make goals, I wish you the happiest, healthiest, and most successful year to date. I hope your challenges and disappointments are not too great. And, I hope your good experiences surpass your wildest dreams and expectations.
Happy, Happy New Year!
Each year, I share the above quote. And, each year it takes on a different meaning to and for me.
As 2014 draws to a close and I reflect on Rainer Maria Rilke’s quote, what keeps coming up for me is this:
Life is full of mystery and unexpected twists and turns. And blessings, well they frequently (and seemingly) come from and through the unlikeliest of channels.
This is how I experienced transformation this year.
And during this holiday season and on this Christmas Day, it is my hope that you’ll pause to take stock of what has transformed you, as well as what has been transformed by you.
It is also my hope that as one year comes to an end and another begins, you are surrounded by those you know and love deeply; you are resting and nurturing your body and your spirit; and that with an open heart and mind you are getting ready to embrace the mystery that awaits us all — filled with even more transformative experiences.
Wishing you and yours all the best as you continue to celebrate the holiday season and get ready to welcome 2015.
May the New Year be filled with just enough challenges to help you grow, blessings beyond measure, and more than a few surprises that bring a smile to your face and your heart!
Thank you so much for being part of my world, and for giving me the privilege to be part of yours!
One of the most powerful personal finance tools you have at your disposal isn’t a spending or investment app. Or, a spreadsheet. It isn’t your income statement or balance sheet, either. It’s a question.
Preferably one that begins with the word – “What?”
I have long known this. It’s one of the reasons you hear me tout the importance of insight over information; it’s why I say let the “activity” of inquiry guide the actions you take.
But last week’s Financial Intimacy Hour provided even more proof! My guest, Heidi Johnson, and I had a vibrant conversation about the ways in which curiosity can improve your career, life and money decisions. (click here to grab the replay.)
When I asked Heidi what one thing would she recommend for living more curiously in 2015, she responded: “…ask ‘What Else?'”
I plan to. You might want to give it a try, as well.
This time of the year gets crazy. And not just because it’s the holiday season. But because it is also when the usual year-end review and new year goal-setting kicks in. In between the holiday gatherings and gift shopping, you’re most likely reflecting on this year’s goals and dreams, and claiming how you want 2015 to be different (better, perhaps?).
And if you are like many of my clients before we start to work together, ALL of this is happening in your head!!
The “busyness” of the season prevents you from slowing down long enough to get out on paper where you are versus where you thought you’d be, along with where you still want to be.
I know you are smart, but you need to get out of your head! Especially if experiencing more success (however you define that) is one of your aims.
Make 2015 the Year of “What Else?”
Asking, “What else?” can help.
Specifically, it can stop you from only:
- doing your year-end assessment, mentally
- declaring your goals and dreams, vocally
- affirming what you want to change, vocally
The benefits of asking “what else?” are many:
It sets you up to review the past and plan for your future – without judgment.
It gives you an opportunity to dig deeper to ensure you go beyond the surface (aka the obvious).
And when those urges to lay out a how-to plan surface, it will help you table that temptation until a more appropriate time when such a step will actually have some value.
Imagine if your every desire for 2015 came true – what would accomplishing your goals look like; how would it feel to achieve your dreams; what habits and choices do you envision needing to make?
Asking “What else?” will help you navigate and negotiate the space between your current reality and the one you desire to create. It will ensure you are both strategic and tactical – at just the right times and in the right way.
For me, one of the ways I am using the “What else?” question is to help me uncover the questions I didn’t ask (looking back) or haven’t yet (looking forward).
So as you begin to wind down 2014 and welcome 2015, take ten minutes each day to ask “What else?” Ask it when looking at the various dimensions of your money (earn, save, invest, and spend) and dimensions of your life (family&friends, professional, finances, values/spiritual), and how these all intersect.
As I told a journalist who interviewed me recently, sometimes the action you need to take is to ask a question.
Questions help you get out of your head. They help you shift from over-emphasizing knowing-how to understanding “knowing why.” Remember, your emotions drive your money decisions. Finally, questions – especially “what” inspired ones – truly are your most powerful tool for getting money to do what you want it to do for you. So…ask ‘em and do it often!
Perhaps you can relate: You experience something traumatic. It’s followed by a strong desire to change something you can control – to offset the change you couldn’t. If you’ve ever experienced this, then you’ll understand my deep desire for a little home makeover.
With the help of a dear friend, when I welcomed guests into my home to continue the Thanksgiving tradition of my mother’s and mine, my home had a new look – courtesy of a few additional pieces of furniture and accoutrements and some furniture rearranging. With small tweaks, my home was transformed. Toni helped me reconfigure (and re-envision) my space. In the process, she did for me concerning my home what I do for my clients concerning their finances: find the unfamiliar in the familiar.
And I was like a giddy child on Christmas Eve.
A perfect feeling given that the holiday season is now upon us and officially in high-gear.
For you and for me, the childlike wonder of the season doesn’t just have to be confined to this time of year. It can be a constant state of mind…a standard way of approaching decisions about your career, life and money.
However, that requires that you intentionally practice curiosity to:
- Answer a pressing or recurring question
- Resolve a conflict you’re experiencing
- Address a nagging contradiction of expectations and/or beliefs
- Ease your discomfort
- Close the gap between what you do know and what you don’t know
- Discover the gap between what you’re seeing and noticing
But, how often do you do that? Can you count the number of times lately when you preceded a decision or action with a statement that began with, “I wonder if…or I wonder what would…”
This sort of inquiry is why most of us use smartphones.
This sort of inquiry is why you can stream music, movies and TV shows in your home and on the go.
This sort of inquiry is why there are financial apps that can help you monitor your spending and manage your wealth in ways unforeseen just five years ago.
Curiosity alters your reality.
If I may be so bold, I’m going to venture to say you’re not being curious enough – you’re not engaging with life with childlike wonder.
It’s not that you don’t have an inquiring mind. After all, you were born with it. After all, it’s likely what is behind many of your accomplishments. But, I suspect, you’re not exercising the power of curiosity as often as you could.
The way I see it, here’s the underlying problem: for far too many adults, the obligations of adulthood can make what is innate (curiosity) become a dulled emotion. You’re constantly moving from task to task and decision to decision that you rarely pause long enough to take notice of what you’re seeing.
As a result, you become satisfied with surface questions, answers, outcomes and justifications.
As a result, you tend to value what you do know more than the surprises of what you don’t know.
As a result, your expectations and assumptions don’t evolve.
And this happens all because going deeper seems too involved – it requires too much time and effort.
Finding the New in the Same
I have been in my apartment for twenty-two years. So, I am quite familiar with my space. And, quite honestly, I was in a visual rut. Metaphorically, I was not applying the same talent, skills and intellectual vigor when it comes to my work as a financial behaviorist to my living environment. Yet, angling the couch in a different way; switching a painting from my bedroom to the living room; adding a few floor and table-top lamps; and taking more advantage of my 10′ ceilings, to name a few, makes the same look new.
“Curiosity is making the choice to look deeper into everyday things and seeing their true significance.”
The end of the year and the holiday season are perfect times to seek and discover the unfamiliar in the familiar.
It’ll help you engage with family, friends and colleagues differently – with more openness – during gatherings.
It’ll help you take stock of the year that is coming to a close with a little more compassion.
It’ll help you look at what’s happening with your money with fresh new eyes.
It’ll help you plan and prepare for a new year with a bit more energy and excitement.
If you knew there were questions (or themes) and small tweaks that could help you practice curiosity with more intention, would you be interested in learning about them? What if the same will also help you to make better decisions concerning your career, life and money? If yes (!), then join Heidi Johnson and me for the final Financial Intimacy Hour of 2014!
On Wednesday, 10 December at 8pm EST, we’re having a conversation about the role of curiosity and its impact on your career, choices and financial success. Click here to learn more and to register.
Here’s an excerpt of an email I received yesterday.
I would like to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving. I know this year’s Holiday Season will be very different than any other, but from what I know of you, I have a feeling that your focus will be on all the things you are thankful for, as you reminisce on times past, cherish wonderful and joyful memories, and eagerly anticipate exciting days ahead.”
To say that I was feeling verklempt after reading those words is an under-statement.
Tomorrow is definitely going to be a weirdly beautiful day for me. It’s Thanksgiving in the U.S. – bar none, my favorite holiday. Friday (11/28) also happens to be my birthday. So, for me this holiday always doubles as a birthday soiree, too.
Although I’ve hosted Thanksgiving for some 20+ years, this will be my first time frying a turkey for the occasion. It’ll also be my first holiday without my co-host – my beloved mother, Fontilla A. Timmons. (The photo to the right is from Thanksgiving 2013.)
No doubt, this holiday will be different than any other. But I’m so happy to continue a tradition of my mother’s and mine – one we started long ago. I am excited to welcome friends into my home and to make sure their bellies and souls are well-fed.
As I’ve been prepping for tomorrow’s dinner party, the holiday rituals of my mother’s and mine are clearer to me now than ever before. Likewise, my awareness of the power of presence (showing up is critical) and the healing power of connections and intimacy is heightened.
Rituals. Presence. Connections. Intimacy. These elements aren’t just present in my relationship with my mother or the one I have with the guests with whom I’m sharing my home and holiday. They exists in all relationships – including the one you and I have. And, I’m reminded that is been awhile since I’ve told you I appreciate you.
So before I go back into the kitchen, I just want to make sure you know…
It’s truly a privilege to be a part of your world and to have you be a part of mine. Thank you!
May you create some beautiful firsts this holiday. And as for those bitter-sweet firsts, I wish you strength and peace.
Wishing you and yours the Happiest Thanksgiving!