Well, not literally. But metaphorically, it does.
I’ll explain in a minute. First, some context.
I’ve spent the last several weeks exploring the delusion of hard work (as a constant state of being) and how it affects your finances.
Selfishly, I wanted to dive more deeply into the whole work-n-money paradigm. In light of my own evolution in this area, I wanted to counter the notion that working harder and struggle and success are inevitable cousins. Instead, I wanted to invite more ease into my business and life – along with more money.
Turns out, my personal quest was a mirror for what many of my coaching clients (and blog readers) are dealing with, too. Or, is it the reverse?
A Rabbit-hole of a Different Kind
Old-school programming about work, about money, and about the dynamic relationship between work and money, are so ingrained that you and I barely even recognize what we’ve embraced as “gospel.” Therefore, we don’t recognize the ways in which we are stuck – blindly making choices that actually don’t serve us in the best of ways.
Since working hard(er) tends to go hand-hand with our glorification of busyness, it seems only fitting to wind down this series discussing the exact opposite of this mindset and approach. It’s time to introduce the next layer in what is truly an on-going conversation.
Hence, this question: Could a slower pace and more quiet mind positively impact the way you manage your money?
And the reason the interplay between meditation and money is the focus for this month’s Financial Intimacy Hour. (Not registered? Click here. It’s tonight – Wednesday, 3/26 at 8pm EDT.)
Let’s face it, money can be stressful at times!
What that stress looks like differs depending upon whether the issue is related to earning it, having it, managing it, or sharing it. And each day, you have a multitude of decisions to make in any or all of these areas.
This brings me to the dance I referenced.
What typically happens when you feel stressed about money? I’m going to bet you shift into the “I need to do more (fill in the blank)” mode. How right am I?
Activity or movement of any sort seems more logical than just passively sitting by and doing nothing to alter your circumstances. (And to be clear you don’t have to be broke and in debt to feel stressed about what you’re doing or not with your money…just saying!)
But what if you and I have it all wrong here?
When the financial pressure is on…when your financial stress is at its highest, what if the act of becoming still (which is often perceived as “doing nothing”) was precisely what you needed to do next? What if it turns out that your wisest choices stem from this place?
So, How Do You Dance?
The “to-do vs. to-be” dance is a delicate tango.
Ultimately, you need to take action, but the difference lays with how you dance. From my own experience, I can attest to the fact that whenever I lead with to-do (which is usually based on fear), stuff becomes an even hotter mess!
On the flip side, when I lead with to-be – however unnatural and uncomfortable it may feel – the better the outcome AND the better I feel about the outcome.
To-do vs. to-be is all about attitude, mindset, and intention and whether you’re in the front being pushed by or in the front leading. This is why I am TOTALLY fascinated with how the practice of meditation can help you and me make smarter money decisions.
Could meditation hold the key for you to experience (even more) financial success than you have to date – because it plants you more firmly in the front as the leader of your money?
Let’s explore the interplay between meditation + money together. Let’s unpack whether it can positively impact the way you manage your money.
And don’t worry…while we are diving into nebulous territory, my guest, Kandace Simmons, and I will make certain you have clear, concrete and practical takeaways that you can implement immediately should you so choose to!
p.s. would you like to help me spread the word? Awesome (and thank you)! Please share this link:
*A longer version of this post by Liz DiAlto was originally published on LizDiAlto.com. Closing comments are mine.*
First, here’s a short list of what NOT to do:
- Stress out
- Take it personally or assume there’s something wrong with you
- Blame any external factors
Truly, there’s only ONE THING you need to do: Listen To Your Body.
Because listening…really listening to your body is no easy task, I want to teach you HOW to do this. Could be one of THE MOST VALUABLE skills you ever learn as a woman (or a human, I know more men than usual have been stopping by lately-welcome, gentleman).
I’ve been speaking about this a lot lately and notice that when I open up about my beliefs about women and their bodies, the response can be summed up in an overwhelming “OH MY GOD, YES!!” So here it is.
Most of us spend a lot of time out of our bodies, living externally.
We’re concerned about what we eat, how we look, what we weigh, who we’re dating, where we’re going (this applies to several destinations from dinner Thursday night to our careers), and more.
We go through days at a time without actually checking IN with how we feel. And I’m not just talking about our emotions. I’m talking about deep in our guts, our organs, our cells. We rarely take enough deep breaths each day, slow down for five minutes or more and ask our bodies, our vessels, the only real place we have to live–”What up girl?! How’s it going in there?!”
Our bodies are much smarter than our minds, so as we behave this way, rushing around, focused on the external world, ignoring ourselves– they have to speak up like a little kid who isn’t getting enough attention. Our bodies do this in the form of illness, fatigue, stress, and more. All of these things are like big fucking stop signs begging us to SLOW DOWN and PAY ATTENTION to what’s going on inside.
I know this because I’ve lived the greater part of my 20s this way. It wasn’t until 2011 that I learned to slow down, shut up, and listen. Coincidentally, 2012 has been the most magical year of my life (more on that in the coming months…).
So how do you listen to your body? She can’t talk…or can she?
I was chatting with my mom last week about refinancing the house. She was going over all the details of this company she wasn’t sure she should do business with. I stopped her in the middle of the conversation and said, “I don’t need all the details, do you think you should do business with these people or not?” At first she thought I was being dismissive. So I explained myself…”Just sit there for a minute, think about this situation, do you have any sensations in your body? Do they feel good or bad? You know the answer. Should you do business with these people?” She said, “No.” BOOM! She knew it all along. And you know stuff, too.
All it took was one minute of sitting still with herself, tuning IN, and feeling the message her body had about the situation to get the answer. That’s listening to your body.
Ah…listening to your body. The scenario Liz shares of her mother’s experience using her body to inform her financial decision is a wonderful demonstration of the powerful connection that exists between your body and your money (and by default, your mind and your choices).
How often do you check in with your body before making a financial decision?
It may sound woo-woo, but don’t “sleep” on the power of your body to help you make wise financial decisions – from the seemingly small to the large and really consequential!
Inner-wisdom is definitely something you and I have. But sometimes your ability to access this powerful tool is blocked – for a variety of reasons. Yet, there are ways to create a clearing so that you can benefit from what your inner-you is telling you. Whether that is about diet and exercise or its money equivalent: earning and spending. That is why I am so, so excited about the webinar Liz and I are doing tonight – “A Busy Woman’s Guide to Getting Her Money Right & Her Body Tight.”
With this webinar, we are doing our part to help the money/body connection take its stand in the mainstream. Our jam session is designed to show you just how powerful of a messenger your body is when it comes to making decisions!
If you want to improve your fitness and your finances, and you want to get better at using your inner-wisdom to do so, I invite you to join us for tonight’s free webinar.
p.s. curious as to how inner-wisdom can help you plan down & pay down your debt? click here to check out this free training video.
Last week, I attended an event sponsored by Morgan Stanley Smith Barney. It was part of the firm’s “Open Talk” series and featured Harold Ford, Jr. interviewing Russell Simmons. As I described to a friend soon after, it was a no-hold bars conversation; Russell’s transparency and candor were refreshing, funny, and for some in the audience of approximately 400, I would suspect, shocking.
I am on Marie Forleo’s “Rich, Hot, and Happy” mailing list. This week’s video message about one of her non-negotiables ironically (?) contained the same message as is in Russell’s book, “Super Rich” – which I’ve been reading since the event.
What do Russell Simmons and Marie Forleo have in common? (Continue Reading…)
Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am a bonafide NPR junkie. Recently, I heard an interview of one of my favorite people whom I’ve never met – consultant, Peter Bregman. I’m a huge fan of Peter’s work and his philosophy and appreciate how every interview (or blog posts – he writes for the Harvard Business Review) includes practical tips I can experiment with. His recent conversation with Amy Eddings on NPRs “Financial 411″ was no exception. Since that interview, I cannot stop thinking about the intersection of time and success.
Amy and Peter were discussing something that is hard for me to do at times, and it is something with which I believe many of us struggle: Slowing down. (Continue Reading…)