When this post is published there will be 22 days left until 12/31/2013. That means you have a mere three weeks to manage the “big” collision – the one that surfaces around this time of year. The one that usually sparks some degree of self-reflection because you’re evaluating your performance; planning for new beginnings; and managing the emotions that kick in due to the festivities and obligations of the holiday season.
It’s an amazing three-some.
Back in August, I wrote about the problem of solving the wrong problem. When this happens, not only do you tend to misuse your financial capital, but you also typically misuse your time, energy, and other ‘soft’ resources as well.
But here’s the real problem…you rarely realize you’re making this mistake until a considerable amount of time has passed. And, just as it pays to know you are solving the right problem, it also pays to get the order right.
Getting the order wrong can also cause you to misuse your resources of people, time, money, and effort.
The order to which I refer comes from a popular mantra espoused in the self-help and personal transformation arenas.
It’s called the ‘Be-Do-Have’ paradigm.
Most of us tend to focus on the ‘have’ part of this equation, usually followed by the word “enough.” This can look like any number of things; for example, have you caught yourself musing over…
- Having earned enough money
- Having saved enough money
- Having enough time
- Having enough energy
- Having enough patience
- Having enough information or know-how
I certainly have!
Truth is, many of us operate fully entrenched in the ‘have-do-be’ mode. After all, ‘have’ is what triggers the self-evaluation of whether or not you achieved your goals – you either have or you haven’t!
But if you miss the mark and you don’t achieve some of your goals, can you still claim victory and finish strong?
This question popped to mind for me as I worked through my emotions of missing the mark on some things. When the last day of this month (and year) rolls around, I will not be able to say “complete” on some goals. I’m not too happy about this, at all. 🙁
But by shifting from ‘have-do-be’ and stepping more fully into ‘be-do-have,’ I’ve been able to concentrate on what I did achieve and learn; how I grew and expanded; what I discovered that I otherwise would not have; and I’ve grown to appreciate how frustrations can truly become a blessing in disguise…
So, I concluded: Yes, gosh darn it, I can finish strong even if I missed the mark!
And so can you!!
Embracing the “yes, I can finish strong mantra” doesn’t get you and me off the hook….
You and I still have to be brutally honest with ourselves about where we are vs. where we were at the beginning of the year vs. where we thought we’d be.
You and I still have to assess what we could have done differently (or better) or what we perhaps should have stopped doing (imagine that!) so that our goals could have been achieved as we desired.
But the shift in perspective helps you and I to remember the true source of our power, and it reminds us that having what we desire will be a lot easier if we back into it rather than starting with it. Makes sense?
Asking – “Who do I have to be to have X?” – with the understanding that the bridge between the two is the “do” is pretty darn powerful! And so I ask: who do you have to be to finish 2013 strong even with missed goals; who do you have to be to start 2014 in kick-arse mode? Let me know in the comments.
p.s. if you’re in NYC on Thursday, 12 December, I’m presenting “Money Rules Everything Around Me,” at an event sponsored by BKNation. Click here for details. Hope you can join me…it’s free!