What if You Don’t Know What You’re Missing?

What if You Don’t Know What You’re Missing?

For Christmas, I got a TV. I can just imagine the look on your face right about now as you read that statement. If you don’t know my television history, your look is probably accompanied by a question along the lines of, “and what does that have to do with me?” And if you do know my story, your reaction is either, “well, it’s about time!” Or, you are just as shocked as I was as I looked at a box, hidden in plain sight, containing a 32″ flat screen TV asking, “What’s this?” I kid you not… In a moment, I’ll flush out what my lovely new TV has to do with you, but first some context: It’s not that I didn’t own a television (although I don’t watch it much); it’s just that I’ve had my now “old” set since 1989 – rabbit ears and all! And because I don’t have a cable subscription, I also have the digital TV converter box. Go ahead and laugh, it’s okay – But my “old” TV worked just fine. However, now that I have this fancy-dancy thing, I can’t believe what I’ve been missing. The picture quality is AMAZING! The colors are crisp, clear and vibrant. TV watching in my own house never looked so good. New Year Ruminations My Christmas present got me to thinking about clichés, comfort and paths that go unexplored. There are two popular clichés: Cliché #1 – You can’t miss what you never had. Cliché #2 – You don’t know what you have until it’s gone. The major problem with the above is this: What...
Same Question. Different People.

Same Question. Different People.

As you may know, last week we held the Financial Intimacy Conference in Los Angeles – the second city in our multi-city tour. The conference there followed the same format as in New York. With many of the same speakers, we kicked-off the evening with three TED-like plenary sessions, followed by the Male Perspective panel, followed still by Q/A. I really enjoy Q/A time because you never know what’s going to be asked. But a curious thing happened during LA’s Q/A and it got me thinking about human connections, human behavior and a human truth: Yes, you are special. But your problems/issues/concerns/fears/questions, etc. are not as unique as you think they are. Here’s the question that triggered this moment of illumination: “How much of my money should go toward paying for my boyfriend’s children’s expenses?” This came from a woman in a relationship with a man with two children from his previous marriage. And as she and he move in the direction of marriage, she wanted guidance on how to address this thorny and potentially combustible issue. Turns out, she wasn’t the only one in the room with the same question! Further still, there was someone else in the room who is dealing with this precise scenario!!  This person was able to describe what she and her husband do to navigate this terrain and she shared how it is a fluid process that changes when necessary. The exchange that ensued was incredible, in part because it was so darn organic. And it became even more incredible to me the more I reflected on the evening overall and a basic...

In All Thy Getting, Get Understanding

Earlier this week, Andy Bellatti, my Careepreneur colleague, wrote a piece that really resonated with me. In it, he described how uncomfortable he is with people ascribing to him the label of “guru” – as if he possesses, and not his clients, the answer/s his clients are seeking. I share a similar challenge as Andy with the work I do as a financial coach and trainer, despite my many efforts and exhortation to the contrary. Saying, “there isn’t a singular answer that will work equally for everyone,” often falls on deaf ears. And like Andy (or what I took from Andy’s post), I, too, get frustrated that some people don’t really understand the value I/we bring. Hint: it’s not in providing the answers. (Read...