This Is A Challenge I'm Glad My Mother and I Didn't Try to Avoid

Wednesday, April 26th is the date for the next dinner in our series, The Comfort Circle™. And of all the topics we’ve addressed or likely will, this one is really, really personal.

Because what inspired my desire to want to focus on talking about money with aging parents is my own experience, with my beloved mother who died in August 2014 after a long battle with cancer.

It’s no secret…I talk about the importance of talking about money ALL the time. And by “talking,” I mean to go beyond discussing a particular transaction or just the numbers. To going deeper. To exploring values, beliefs, habits, expectations, fears, desires and financial philosophy, discipline and character. For recent media examples of me doing what I do, you can click here on “BCWN,” here on “The Women’s Connection,” and here on “30 Seconds a Frame.”

Those who know me, know I will shout the virtues of having substantive conversations about money from every platform possible. But that doesn’t mean it is any less awkward for me than for those I am asking to heed my clarion call.

I know how incredibly awkward it is to do.

I know how emotional it is.

Having these conversations brings up every fear you know you have, as well as those you didn’t even know existed.

Having these conversations prompt you to confront some things you imagine you’d eventually have to face (aging, health and mortality) and those that only become obvious after the fact (like emotional strength and capacity and redefining responsibility).

According to the National Endowment for Financial Education, 7 in 10 adults find talking about money with their family difficult.

So, you and I are not alone in the desire to take a shortcut by avoiding this important conversation at almost every turn.

But…

I also know how beneficial it is to face this discomfort and have those difficult conversations anyway!

It is far, far better not to initiate these discussions at the eleventh hour – like when illness has already set in or when your parents are “older” and less spry.

Doing it when they are healthy and more youthful – physically and emotionally – is much better… for all involved!

As a result I am on mission to encourage more people and families to talk about money with their aging parent/s — sooner than you need to.

So, if you live or work in the NYC tri-state area, I hope you’ll join me. Click here to RSVP.

We’ll tackle how to navigate this new tricky terrain – emotionally and financially, so that you and your parent/s can be at ease with preparing for the unexpected and the inevitable.

Because whether due to age, ill-health, or both, eventually the caregiver and family leader dynamic between you, your siblings, if relevant, and your parent/s shifts.

Yeah, talking about money with your aging parent/s can be uncomfortable and difficult. But it is a challenge I am so grateful that my mother and I didn’t try to avoid.

What I’ve come to embrace is that these conversations are less about gloom and more about love…

That’s why during this dinner, we’ll talk about issues and best practices to help you prepare for the new role you’ll have one day or that perhaps you’re in the midst of right now.

After this dinner, you’ll have a game-plan or a more refined one for one of the most important conversations (plural intentional) you’re likely to ever have when it comes to love and money.

Click here to RSVP for the next dinner – Wednesday, April 26th at 6:30pm. It’s in Manhattan (midtown).

 

p.s. If you’d like to read the tribute I wrote about my mother, click here.

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